A Teacher's Diary

Life & Death: Again

January 3, 2017
Tuesday

"Death is our ultimate and final destination. But we all make stops along the way."

------

Angel of death must be calling unconsciously. If not, why the heck would I thought about this?

New Year. But same old shit. It's been three days since 2K17. And I had already said goodbye to 2016. Funny how time flies so fast.

Geez. Getting old, aren't we? Quickly, I'll turn 26. And I would be asking the same things with myself:

1.) What's your long term goal?
2.) What do you really want to do in your life?
3.) What's your purpose?
4.) What is your true happiness?
5.)  What are your dreams that you want to achieve?

So, in short...

I am thinking of what lies ahead of me and again, it includes making tough decisions that will have a domino effect in my future.

This is the last day when I could enjoy liberty and stress-free reality. And yet here I am, wasting time procrastinating.

I decided to spent my morning reading my newest book, "Full String to Stop". I chose to finish reading it than going out of my room and eat breakfast, and actually lunch. Because, it's already freaking 2 o'clock. It's a typical love story which tackles about first love - which made me remembered and inspired me to write my own. But... I actually have a lot of stories to tell. I am getting mixed up. And, I already said goodbye to those stories, too... A long time ago.

Goodbyes. To memories. To innocence. To beliefs that there's always magic in the corner. Life is life. That's it.

Recently, I also read a short story in Webtoon entitled, "About Death". It was a tear jerker. From the title itself, it made you think of death. How ironic that in one scene, there was this conversation:

God of Death: "You had time to think about death seriously?"
Dead Man: "How would I have time to think about death when I haven't figured out what life is?"

Damn. The feels. I am trying to figure death but here I am not being able to figure out what life is. Life is such a sucker. So yes, I have a question...

What if life is a dream and death wakes us up?

If I die sleeping, at least people can say that I died doing what I love the most.

Why do we bother in our lives being able to live when we will die anyway?
Why do people keep on doing trivial things and keep on wasting their time?

And why? To all my why's... Am I being one of them?

When I die, I want to be burned. I want to be cremated. Just like Icarus. Or a Phoenix. I don't why... But I love fire.

And after that, I want the people I love to read my letters of goodbye. I wonder just how many people would cry when I die? That's equivalent to the letters I should write. Well, if I would be able to guess it right.

I don't know how long would I be able to live. But if I predict it right, I won't really last long on Earth. But I hope it would be enough time for me to discover what happiness truly means.

Don't worry.. I would be starting my letter of goodbye soon...