A Teacher's Diary

Vampire Diaries

June 22, 2014

Sunday

I know. Cut the drama crap. What happened to writing in a journal instead of typing on this freaking wattpad. Time to catch up and become a 21st digital literate.

I missed two days of my life. I've been grumpy and sulky. Stayed in my room literally (except when I need to eat, bath, wash my clothes, and take out my human waste) for two days watching Vampire Diaries. Guess I'm obsessed with Damon Salvatore. Or not.

With that, I really have no idea what happened with my Saturday and Sunday this week. Maybe, they were eaten by the moon.

The truth is... I'm bored and lonely. And I needed something to preoccupy me. A distraction is as good as an anesthesia.

EJ said he miss me but he's not actually doing something about it. He did not do something about it. He could have asked me to have that adventure with him yesterday instead of his douchebag friend, Michael. I know. How bad of me. But to think they already have the weekdays to be together, bond with each other, play the freaking magic cards that he even wanted me to learn to play.

I am not a gamer. It's not my thing. Not my passion. I have wanted to become one before because I thought it was really cool and because my friends are. They talk some language I cannot understand which makes me out of place most of the damn time. And even as much as I wanted to be 'one of the boys' and please my boyfriend... all it makes me is feel desperate and trying hard. I don't want to become that person anymore. I don't want to feel that same feeling ever again. I don't give a crap if I'm different. I dare to be different. And I want to make a difference - in my own terms and not with others expectations (Just like Damon, that's why I really really like his bad ass character).

I want to be accepted and be loved for who I am, with all my imperfections and dramas and shortcomings and bullshits. I want to do something great. Something extraordinary. But I guess, I'll just always be that one insecure, overthinker, pathetic, ordinary girl.

Hi. My name is April. Nice to meet you.