A Teacher's Diary

Optical Illusion

July 27, 2014

Sunday

I had another dream. About a guy who can make explosives. But I knew he's not a bad guy. However, for others, he was a threat for some sort of terrorism.

***

I checked my phone, EJ texted me last night but I was already asleep.

"Gising ka pa? 10am na tayo magkita tom, sa station."

From: Peter Pan 10:39 PM

          He calls me Tinkerbell,

                   I call him Peter Pan.

I prepared my things and took a bath. He then called around 9 AM. He's not ready, yet I was already wearing my casual clothes. He said he still need to take a bath. I decided to leave by 10 AM. He called telling me he's going to be late. I arrived past 11 AM here in MRT Taft Station. I stayed at Dunkin' Donuts Metropoint. Ordered myself a coffee and a premium donut.

12:30. I'm still waiting. I busied myself imagining what I should be doing right now instead of waiting. Typing real time here in Wattpad. I have no choice but to busy myself. I'm bored so from time to time, I do people watching, making up stories about them. I am already getting palpitations. I knew I should not be drinking coffee.

Ugh! What happened to 10 AM?

Three pretty girls dressed are sitting next to me. Waiting for their other friends. Talking loudly.

Earplugs on. Press play. Volume up. Ignore the world. 

I feel different when one of the girl plays with her cutter. Pushing the blade up and down, making a sound that I imagine hearing from horror movies. I can hear it since she's just in front of me and from time to time, one of the side of my earplugs doesn't work right. Damn earphone. Damn palpitation. Damn being too early.

"Taft station na me. Where kita puntahan?"

It was 12:50 when I received his text.

I tried not to have my usual tantrums. I managed to show a smile. He was saying sorry. I didn't ask yet why he's late. He should have told me.

***

We went to LRT Station 1. He bought us tickets heading to UN Avenue Station. Of course, I'm still a bit annoyed of EJ making me wait for too long. We dropped by at Wendy's for lunch. There, I asked why he's late. He said he cleaned his messed up room and needed to also help clean their house. He can't leave until they're finished. He also told me about talking to his mom that I might be already waiting.. Ugh! I was waiting! He said, his mom actually wanted him to go and told him, "Hala ka! Alis na.. masamang pinaghihintay ang babae." I thought she could be my savior but you know, it didn't work that way. He said his dad opposed to this and told him, "Nako. Hindi totoo yan. Yang mama mo, hinihintay ako palagi niyan. Sige na. Maglinis ka dyan." Then, his mom, "Ay sus. Nako, 'pag yang tatay mo late, iniiwan ko na yan." I can only imagine their conversation.

***

It was a long walk until we reached Manila Ocean Park. We went to second floor since we know that is where Seriland is. Where we will be experiencing 3D Art. But all we see is a wall, painted in white. I wish that it was some kind of an optical illusion. Epic fail since it wasn't and I was so disappointed. We asked Customer Information about it and we were informed that it has been closed since May.

We didn't have a plan B. And since, I was disappointed. I didn't talk much. We stayed at a snack bar. We held our phones and turned on our wifi. He showed me a photo tagged in his Facebook by his brother, it was a photo of them cleaning the roof.

I know, we were both bored. He suggested about watching a movie when he noticed that I am keeping my phone because it's battery is already empty. We decided to go to SM Manila. Again, we walked through Manila's finest tourist spots: Luneta Park, Orchidarium, Chinese Garden, Dancing Fountain etc.

Out of the blue he asked, "Ano kaya kung dito tayo sa Manila nag-aral?"

Me: "Pero sa Manila naman tayo nag-aral ah? PUP is in Manila."

EJ: "No, I mean here. Near here."

Me: "Hm.. Well, I think we wouldn't meet."

EJ: "Bakit naman?"

Me: "Because that would be a whole different story."

When we got to SM Manila. We checked the list of movies under 'Now Showing' in the Cinema section . I'm not in a mood for movies but if he insists, that would be fine. I would want to suggest, 'She's Dating the Gangster' but it would be some kind of a joke. We went to National Book Store. I discovered a wall sticker with the price of Php60.00. I bought two of it since, in Japan Homes Center, it costs, Php200.00. I think I can give it as a gift for any of my niece. I discovered he was gone. Good thing that I have this powerbank that can at least give 80% power of my phone's battery. He called but I missed it so I sent him a text, "San ka na?" He replied, "Andito sa labas, inaantay ka."

"I was looking for you." I said when I saw him. "I also looked for you. I thought you're no longer inside that's why I'm here. And I'm tired.", he added. I felt so much disappointment today but I tried hard to not lose myself.

We agreed to go home after we drank water in the foodcourt. I asked where he would like to get a ride home. I was thinking of taking the PNR in Divisoria. I'd had so much for today.

He can't decide which way he would take. I really want to go to divisoria. Thinking to make use of the day and at least get something for myself. I need to have a Filipiniana dress anyway. I just can't decide whether I should let EJ go with me. But then, I decided it's not too late for us to have an adventure.

We searched for a stall that sells cardigans. I need to buy some because I'm really conscious of my scar on my right arm. I can't even wear sleeveless anymore. I managed to buy two: a gray and black for Php180.00. We went inside Tutuban Mall to search for Filipiniana. We found a store where Kimonas are being hang and displayed. It's sort of big for me but I bought it for Php350.00 since it was already the smallest.

This decision made everything feels right. Although, we're tired.. I think I did great because I was able to overcome my tantrums. We didn't argue despite the epic fail.

I decided to go with him and ride LRT 2 to Araneta Cubao Station. We had our dinner at Greenwhich. While eating, he was telling me about him not being happy as a teacher.

EJ: "I really can't be a teacher."

Me: I smiled. "Well, Uhm.. Me, too."

EJ: "See? Now, you do understand me. I wonder what my students think of me. Outside, I don't live like a teacher. My lifestyle is still like of teenagers. I don't even like to dress in formal. I hate wearing our uniform."

I was about to tell him about me being the same. And that one time, when we had a general assembly meeting.. when I was the only one not wearing the uniform. But he continued. I guess, I can't cut off his momentum. This is about him. I need to listen..

EJ: "I'm pressured. People telling me to do something because my dad is great at that. What's the connection? I'm not him. But I can't do anything about it. I'm a MAPEH teacher. Yet, I'm not even fond of sports. They are expecting me to be good at basketball. But I'm not because I'm not fond of basketball. What I like is English. Keizer and I are similar to that. But here I am. When I teach, people tell me that my students are listening to me. They say I'm good at it because they know the kids are focused and they are paying attention. A lot of observers told me this during my classes. They say they don't get it why I don't want to teach yet they are seeing me teaching, putting my heart into it."

Yes. We're both teachers. I actually want to be a good one. But he doesn't have a problem with that. And I envy him with that. I'm not cool as him. If students will be asked to choose who their favorite teacher is, I know most of his students will answer his name. But me? I don't have that kind of appeal.

That's what he's good at. He just don't know it. Because sometimes, when we're good at something.. We take it for granted.

We always look at something else.

Me? I don't know. I guess I'm good at nothing.