A Teacher's Diary

Thin line

July 5, 2014

Saturday

Snapped.

I checked my phone to see the time. 7:25 AM. I hurriedly typed in a message and sent it to Alex. We were supposed to meet this morning together with Mira and Demiebabe at Banapple for breakfast at 8:00 AM. And I am going to be late, as ever. I don't want to miss this chance of seeing and being with them. I miss them. Big time.

I felt my eyes. Swollen. I wonder why. I slept early. I already finished watching all the episodes of Vampire Diaries I got copied. And I was left hanging thinking about what would happen next. And I didn't even cry myself to sleep last night. I slept 9 PM. Usually on weeknights, it's later than that.

I remember waking up around 3 AM earlier but went back to sleep in a split second.

Hypothetically speaking, I guess I had a random dream. I can't remember what. It washed up as soon as I woke up since I realized that I have a rendezvous today. It feels weird that sometimes, there's a fine thin line between the reality... and my dreams.

***

Banapple, 9:45 AM

Of course I was late. Not to mention that I have an urgent trip to bathroom (since mom used my pad, so I ended up buying a whole pack of nappies in a random store on my way here.) My underwear already stained with a drop of blood. And sweat is all over my body. Gross, I know. I want to take off my clothes and just be naked for a little while so I could be comfortable. But obviously, it's not a good idea. I faced my haggard self in the mirror after changing. I decided to remove the tie on my hair and went out to finally greet my old friends.

Alex plus Demie minus Mira. That girl. Not again.

There was a pesto in our table. Babe, (my endearment to Demie) said I can eat it if I'm already hungry. And I did taste a small amount and it really tastes good. I was already enjoying eating it when suddenly, Babe was laughing. Alex, too. I looked at them with suspiscion. Babe bursted out that it's not really their food. Explaining a customer left it.

SERIOUSLY? I already ate a lot!

I was shocked. I thought that these two bullies can really do that to me. True friends can bully each other anyway. However, I was relieved it was just another prank. They actually ordered it a while ago while they were waiting for me.

Since I was late, There's not much we could talk about. I ordered food but it costs more than the 500 peso bill Alex has given me so I decided to use my payroll ATM card. Good thing I brought my wallet which I rarely do. I just remembered I don't have cash.

So Alex lost his phone last night. He didn't receive the message I sent him earlier.

Aw. My head hurts.

I know a lot of people losing or being robbed with their Samsung phones. Like what happened with Kristoff previously with Dura Dura Gang.

I asked them how are they. Alex was crazy pissed when I asked him about the girlfriend thingy. He said, Karla asked the same question. For him, getting into a relationship isn't necessary. Because he has none, yet. While Karla (his ex) has moved on and already has a new boyfriend.

Alex noticed the loombands I am wearing on my right hand. He commented that it is such a third grader fashion. I told him that they were given by my pupils and a co-teacher. He pointed out the red-black loom is lousy unlike the other two. I laughed since that lousy one was made by Jessie. Then suddenly Alex asked, "Is that one pretty?" I instantly said, "Of course." I showed a picture, the one taken in Rockwell when we had dinner at Kenny Rogers. Jessie was with Shane in the picture. "Does he have a boyfriend?". Oh, Alex questions firing away. "Nope. They just broke up," I answered. "Oh? I like that. Girls like that are vulnerable. I am sure she'll like me even though I'm fat," he joked. I don't think so. "Well, she's a Jehovah's Witness." Unfortunately, I have to drop this bomb. Alex and Karla broke up because of their religion conflicts. They agreed not to talk about it with their early months of relationship. But of course, the time came when they knew they can no longer be together. Karla is a choir member and devoted Catholic while Alex is back being a Christian.

We all have different love stories.

My babe, however is still the Demie she was. Profanity became her expression. I was the same back then when I was a call center agent. Also, she is still on the same complicated situation of having an affair to some guy on her work place. That what makes her happy. Alex and I can't make her stop. But I hope she'll find someone whom will make her a better person and really in love. The kind of love which she will be happy and contented. The kind of love which is true and genuine.

***

Before I went home, Tin texted. She wants us to go swimming in Marikina Sports Center. Problem no. 1, I have no extra clothes with me. Problem no. 2, I have my period - remember? She texted she's still in Anonas. I could have dropped by there but I didn't. It's just one ride away from where I was but my feet lead me to the corner where I could ride a jeepney on my way home. We decided to just give it a shot next week.

So now I'm home. Lying on my bed, earphones still on. Sleepy but fighting it. I want to be able to do laundry today so I won't have to worry about it tomorrow. Gosh! I need strength.

***

I had a great day. No nap time but I had a quiet day. I was alone. Our house was for myself.

I did laundry and exams for my Filipino classes. From time to time, I listen to music, rest, eat and relax.

**

I exchanged texts with Dreb a while back then since I happen to also browse my inbox. Curiousity arose about what happened to him since he has become a broken man. The last text I received from him was telling me he's giving up on her. His girlfriend, now ex. I saw that coming because he forwarded her text. And by judging, I can't give him false hope. I can only tell him that there are things that really has to end. He thanked me for that. Well... maybe, she's not his true love yet. Funny, I wasn't his, too.

We were just in high school when we tried to have this kind of girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. I wasn't really serious though. I was just again, curious. And since I didn't find it amusing, I broke up with him a month after. We were young to actually know what love was. It was just amazing that we remained friends after all. Despite him trying to win me over, I was and still sure that he's not just the guy I'll fall in love with. Plus, I am deeply and madly in love with someone else now, named EJ. Don't get me wrong. Dreb is a nice guy. He has improved his non-humor character as the years passed. And he is kind, responsible and smart. He was asking if I can introduce someone for him. I replied to him that I am not fond of playing cupid.

I can only pray for him to find someone that will really love him and accept him as he is. Just like what I  am praying for Alex, Demie and Jessie.

**

I was watching Prometheus earlier but I stopped since Zac and Zoe invaded and played in my room. I decided to read a PDF file of 'The Hunger Games' on my Lenovo. It is already 10:30 PM. Tomorrow is fast approaching. I'll fall asleep soon.

May the odds be ever in my favor.