Lovely

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I'm secretly a 13 year old emo inside who listens to way too much TOP and relates it back to BMC and my small children. Seriously don't tell me this song doesn't have Boyf vibes...

Time for angst and fluff.

TW: mentions of past self harm, depression, and self hatred

"Jerm? Jeremy? C'mon where are you?" Michael had woken up and noticed Jeremy wasn't in bed. It was early, or late, he didn't know honestly it was still dark outside but he didn't check the clock.

He looked around the entire house, searching for his boyfriend until he heard soft whimpers from the bathroom. He opened the door and seen Jeremy hiding in a gap between the toilet and the tub, holding his knees tightly and crying.

Michael got close to him and gently whispered his name.

"G-Go away...Just...q-quit hurting me... p-p-please..." Jeremy mumbled so quiet it was almost impossible to hear.

"Jerm?" Michael called out again and Jeremy turned to see him, eyes bright blue...Squip blue. "Calm down Jerm...It's me. It's Michael."

Jeremy didn't reply, he just continued shaking in his little corner. Michael crawled next to him and gently nudged him out of the corner and towards the open wall.

Jeremy cuddled into Michael's chest when he got out of the nook. He didn't say anything. He just cried. Michael caressed his back softly, hoping it would help. It did.

"Jerm what's wrong?" Michael asked and Jeremy opened his mouth as if to speak, but no words came out. Michael assumed it was out of fear and brought the brunette closer. "It's okay Jerm...It's okay. Take your time alright?"

"I...I heard it...I-It c-came b-b-back..." He whispered and Michael cocked his head. "T-T-The S-Squip....It c-came b-b-back."

"Okay Jeremy, relax and tell me what it said..."

"I-It said I should just k-kill myself s-since I refuse to b-better myself...It says I...I deserve to d-die because I'm d-dating a loser l-like you. It s-says I'm u-ugly...and useless...worthless and p-pitiful...and I c-can't be h-helped..." Jeremy was shaking as he spoke and Michael felt pain in his heart as he listened to his broken words.

His body was in pain. He was hurting, and in return, so was Michael.

"Jeremy...You aren't ugly...you don't need to change yourself and never...never ever try to kill yourself...okay? I l-love you...and last time you hurt yourself I was s-scared I'd l-lost you..." Michael cooed, tracing scars in Jeremy's arms softly, as to not hurt him.

"B-But I'm w-weak and pathetic...I w-was never supposed to b-be born...My m-mom wanted to g-give me up for a-adoption-tion...I... I'ma mistake Michael...The Squip is right...I d-deserve to die...I'm a pointless human being...I d-don't deserve to be h-here..." Jeremy began crying harder and Michael kissed his forehead lightly, stroking the back of his head, fingers running through the curly brown hair.

"Yes you do Jeremy...You have a right to be in this world just like the rest of us. You're not a mistake. Your mom is just ungrateful that she has a wonderful son. I don't wanna see you hurt yourself okay. You're beautiful and if you died I'd kill myself...I promise...You deserve this life you've been given. Now c'mon...let's get you some Mountain Dew Red and get you back to bed." Michael rhymed on propose, getting a smile out of Jeremy.

Once he got the bottle of nineties soda, he handed it to Jeremy and led him back to their bed. Jeremy drank the entire thing, laying down and passing out quickly.

Michael held him close, and even if Jeremy was asleep Michael still whispered sweet nothings in his ears.

"If you just try to love yourself...I'll try to help you...I will help you...because you're an amazing person...and I don't want you to die...I love you...I love you so much Miah." Michael whispered softly as he yawned and fell asleep himself.

The Squip didn't come back after that. Not often anyways. But when it did, Jeremy knew Michael would save him from it.

He always did.

Short sweet angsty fluff. My 13 year old mind just listened to "Lovely" on loop tbh. It fueled me. TOP fuels me a lot tbh.

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