Interesting (AfterDeath)

Chapter 57

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Geno P.O.V

I woke to the feeling of warmth.

I woke.

I didn't want to wake. I didn't want to live.

I wanted so much just to die. Could I not have even that? Could I not even end my worthless existence?

I wanted to scream, vent my frustration on something.

"Why the fuck am I still alive? How the fuck am I still alive? I haven't eaten in three bloody weeks, I haven't had water in two, and I've lost so much blood that it isn't even funny, how the fuck am I still breathing right now?  Isn't dying supposed to be easy?"

Then, something tightened around me.

"I d-don't bloody kn-ow, Geno!  But I d-on't give a fuck because I'm still holding you right now, and nothing else fucking matters!"

I tensed slightly, looking to see Reaper glaring at me weakly, his gaze ever-faltering, dark bags like bruises beneath his red, bloodshot eyes, his face wet, his hair messy and tousled.

I tilted my head to the side in confusion as I reached up to cup his face in my hand weakly, stroking his wet cheek with my thumb.

"You've been cr-ying..?" I whispered, pushing away my own dilemma for the time being, my voice weak and husky, full of confusion and worry.  Reaper immediately leant into my touch, tears slipping down his face as he slowly started to sob.

"O-of c-course I've been f-fucking crying, you nearly..." he trailed off into harsher sobs, whispering broken apologies.

"...died?... Why..? Why would you care if I nearly died..?" I asked softly, gazing at him in confusion.

Reaper choked on the air he was breathing in, staring at me in disbelief.

"...Because I f-fucking love you, Gen, why else..?" he whispered brokenly, surprising me.

'He does..?'

I hesitated for a long while, then gave a short, forced laugh.

"...Yeah... Right.  You're just saying that to make me feel better, huh..?" I said softly, closing my eyes tiredly as I slumped into him uselessly.  "Thanks for the thought..."

I could feel his eyes on me as I leant into him, leaning my head against his chest, not having enough strength to resist the warmth of his touch, even when I knew that he hated me.

'Why else would he have left for three weeks?'

I sighed when Reaper took my face in his hands gently, tilting my head so that I was facing him.

"Why else would you leave for three weeks?  Why would you leave, unless you hated me..?" I asked softly, speaking before he had the chance to.  "If you didn't hate me, why would you do that..?  Why would you leave me alone for so long unless you wanted me to suffer..?  You...  You know how much I need you..."

I was met with a shocked sort of silence, one which lasted a long while, then I met his eyes again, forcing a small smile, no matter how much pain it caused.

"...I...  It doesn't matter, if you hate me or not, though.  I still love you...I'm still yours, and I always will be..."  My smile turned weak as I met his eyes for a few moments, before looking away.  "You can hurt me however you want, I'm happy if you are.  If you want to beat me, do so..."