Interesting (AfterDeath)

Chapter 63

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Geno P.O.V

...marry me?"

I didn't think he was going to ask that. I didn't think...

"I... I-I..."

I couldn't form a proper response.

He - Reaper - was kneeling in front of me, a small, timid smile playing his lips, his eyes fearful, but full of love.

And the ring-  God, the ring...  It was silvery-white in colour, and it looked like it was fucking platinum- There were small white gems accenting a larger, red-tinted gem, and I could see that there was something engraved on the inside of the slim, silvery band, but couldn't quite read it. 

Shit.

Reaper seemed more nervous than ever before, even his eyes showing how scared he was, his hands trembling lightly, making the small box he was holding shake.

But fuck, hadn't this all happened before?  Isn't insanity doing the same thing over and over again, hoping for a change of outcome?

But Reaper isn't Classic.

My hands were shaking, so I drew my arms around myself, gripping on my sides tightly, tears filling my eyes, blurring my vision without spilling over.

"Reaps... R-Reaper, I..."

I'm already married.

"Reaps I... Y-you don't understand, I can't...  I c-c-can't..."

I'm sorry, Reaper... I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to... 

"...Gen."

The syllable was spoken in such a broken voice it made my heart ache.

"It's okay, if you want to say no.  Just say it, okay?  I... I won't get mad at you.  Please, I can't.... I can't take this, please...." Reaper pleaded quietly, his smile wavering, his eyes sad and defeated, and there was so much pain.

I couldn't even look at him out of shame.

"I'm sorry, R-Reaps..." I whispered.  "I'm...  I'm already...  Already..." I trailed off into harsh sobs, burying my face in my hands, taking a small step back.

He could never want me.  I've already been used too many times.  I...  I married my abuser.  I married someone who only hurt me.  Raped me.  How could Reaper love someone so dirty?

'He does love me, though... He shouldn't, but he does...'

"...Already what, Gen..?" Reaper asked softly, reaching out to pull my hands away from my face carefully, then to cup my chin carefully.  I leant into him weakly, finally meeting his gaze.

"Already married, Reaps," I whispered, sobbing shakily. "I'm already fucking married to him. He's already taken me in every way possible. I'm still... I'm still so dirty, Reaper. Broken. And I can't... I can't...."

Reaper gaped at me for a number of seconds, and I couldn't take it anymore.

"... I...I'm s-sorry, Reaper...  I...  I didn't...  I didn't mean to...  I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't want to fuck everything up I'm so sorry, I...  I didn't mean to make you hate me...  I'm sorry....  I wish I hadn't married him... I wish I hadn't, but I did....  I'm sorry..." I whimpered out weakly, trembling violently as I took a small step backwards.