Sanders Sides OneShots

Drown - No Ship

TW: Drowning, Suicide, Mentions of attempted suicide, Death, Self Harm, uuuhhhhh my dog lol what?

Angst

Here I come, come to you in the very clothes
That I killed, killed you in and now I know I'm alone. I walk to you, rain falls from you

He walked in the cold rain. Loving the feeling of it in his hair. He's been outside for hours, not caring about getting sick. He just needed a distraction. His mind wouldn't leave him alone.

Can you wash me, can you drown me?

After a while of sitting in the rain, he decided it was time to go in. The relaxing feeling faded along time ago, he wanted it back. After everyone was in their rooms and sleeping, Virgil went to the bathroom.

I wanna be a lot of things, so much pent up inside of me. I wanna be stronger, too long I've sat here undecidedly. Planning strategy, half of me knows it's all just a fallacy

He pulled the silver razor from his pocket. He stole it from dollar general. Virgil pulled up his sleeves (TW: SELF HARM) and ran the razor across his pale skin. Blood came flooding out of the wound like a river. He sat there, staring at the cut, silent tears streaming down his face. Yet, he looked bored and unsatisfied.

Failing miserably, drastically and then I crash dramatically. Into a wall I've hit a hundred times before. And yet I still ignore the dark red blood stains on the floor

He's tried so many times to just, end it. But, he would always chicken out, scared of where he would go. He's tried everything he could think of, always chickening out. He wasn't happy with himself. At all. He was disappointed and angry at himself for being so scared. He would always just sit there and cry.

And I'm back in front of you, Lord, with blood on the floor. Is the blood mine or yours? Don't wanna do this anymore

Virgil sat on the floor of the bathroom, he made at least 20 more cuts before feeling a bit dizzy. The blood from his arms were not washed and they were drying. He didn't care. The blood was all over the floor and all of his jacket. He didn't care. He just wanted life to end.

Back and forth between being me and who you call me to be. You see a man free who thinks he has to buy a key. To a door but he can't 'cause he's poor and he can't fall down anymore 'cause he's already on the floor. And his heart is broken and all and this is his call. But it's warm from crying 'cause he will try nine times

Virgil was so close. So close. He would have bled out if Patton didn't find him. He was bandaged up and put on suicide watch. Constantly being watched. He was uncomfortable. They would take turns. Waiting outside the bathroom, constantly asking if he was okay. He hasn't cut in weeks and he wanted, no, needed, to do so. His mind wouldn't shut up.

To realize nine crimes but he has more than nine lives. So he picks himself up and keeps climbing for the prize again

Virgil wasn't always like this. He was a happy boy at one point. He can't remember how that felt. All he can feel is sadness, anger and disappointment. No room for happiness.

Here I come again to you just to show that blood soaked through, through my bones and all I own is there a way for me to grow? I walk to you, rain falls from you

Virgil couldn't take much more of the voices. He needed a way out. They through away his razors. He had no more. The only option was obvious. He just needed to be brave.

Can you wash me, can you drown me, please?

He planned out what he was going to do. He was going to leave 4 notes, but he decided against it. Maybe he'll leave a present? No. Maybe he'll just leave. That should be a gift all in its own.

Every time I feel selfish ambition is taking my vision. My crime is my sentence, repentance is taking commission

He decided that he would leave one note. One note for five people (Deceit and Thomas included). There would be a new anxiety around, surely they wouldn't find it. They probably won't care anyways. Virgil smiled to himself. Almost time.

It's taking a toll on my soul, I'm screaming submission and I don't know if I am dying or living 'cause I will save a face for name's sake.
Abuse grace, take a aim to obtain a new name in a newer place

Virgil was happy the rest of the week. He was excited. Nervous, anxious, the usual. He would finally be free. Finally be away from this hell.

But my name is lame, I can't walk and I ain't the same

He spent the rest of his days with his family, showing them love and kindness. Something he still had. Everyone was confused but happy nonetheless.

And my name became a new destiny to the grave and they say the ocean's blue, but it's black right now in the dark, on the sand, looking out at my crowd. Depression and drowning singing now the full parts, and lightning reveals where the ocean stops and the sky starts

Today was the day. He was ready. He went into the bathroom.

I've been told by the sky that the ocean I shall win

He turned the water to the tub on, closing the drain.

But it's hard for me to see where ocean stops and sky begins

He waited for the tub to feel, smiling . He's doing this.

A random strikes of light remind me of what is true

He got in the tub, fully clothed. He didn't care. He sat there, taking in his last breath.

But right now the ocean's blacker than black, the sky is too

And he let the water take him away.

:)

I should say sorry, but I'm not. I actually kinda like this one? I know I'm gonna hate it later but, eh.

Welp, hope you..uh...enjoyed?

Okay...

Bye..