Heartless Husband

Decision

"What?!" The rage through my voice is very surreal! Pakiramdam ko ay umakyat ang lahat ng dugo ko sa ulo. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit gusto pa nilang gawin ang mga ganitong bagay pagkatapos ng mga nangyari.

"You're acting so strange. Is there something wrong with what i declared?" Mommy said in a lower voice.

Pakiramdam ko ay pinipiga ang puso ko sa tanong niya. It hurts so bad that i wanted to burst out! Naghalo-halo ang galit at inis sa sistema ko ngunit hindi ko alam kung paano ito ilalabas upang iparating sa kanila.

I tried so hard to compose myself, because i wanted us to talk with only just a little weight of force. Dahil ayokong maging bingi ang isa sa amin sa opiniyon ng isa nang dahil sa emosyon.

"Dad.." Ako, sa mababang tono.

"Did you two.. decided about this matter?"

"We did-"

"W-Why?"

A moment of silence invades the room, nanatili ang titig nila sa akin, binabalanse ang mga sasabihin.

"We won't do things that will put you at risk. Hindi namin ito ginagawa para sa sarili namin o para sa sariling interes. We just want what's best for you." The hardness and authority on daddy's voice sent shiver to me. Dang it! Hindi ko akalaing aabot sa punto na magiging ganito ang ama ko! Hindi ito ang mga magulang ko!

"But how can you decide things like this without letting me know? Without asking for my voice about the matter? Dad, mom! I was the one who's involve here!"

"Kiel won't give you difficulties."

"I wasn't asking about that, mom! Pero bakit.. bakit kailangan pang may ganito?" Puno ng hinanakit kong saad. Kung saan maayos na kami ni Rod ay doon pa magkaka-ganito.

Kung saan maayos na ang lahat..

"That's what we see is best."

"No, mommy! Doing this let me feel i cannot decide in my own!" I spoke bitterly.

"Iba iyon sa pag-hangad namin ng kung ano ang mas higit na makabubuti sayo." They remain calm between in heated situation!

"But that's why i felt! Siguro po naisip niyo nalang na mag-desisyon para sa akin, because i always fail stepping in for reaching what's best for me and for my child." Pinipilit ko silang intindihin sa ganitong pagkakataon, but i don't know how to do it when their good perspective in life suddenly fell off.

Thinking about the possible things running through their mind hurt me more. The lump that was stuck in my throat give me a hard time to talk and breathe.

"It was my fault, alright. It's my choice to be dependent and rely unto you. Because i was so confident that you will not descend me gradually." Hindi ko napigilan ang pagkabasag ng boses. I was like a child whining something to my parents. Too bad, sa pagkakataong ito ay hindi na nila kaya pang punan o ibigay iyon.

Natigil ang usapan sa ere. I see them struggling in gathering words inside their mind, i can see it through their facial expression. Ngunit alam ko sa sarili ko na ako mismo ang ayaw tumanggap ng mga sinasabi nila.

Pagod ang kanilang mga matang nakatingin sa akin.

"We won't coerce and use authority, don't worry. Lagi naming hangad ang kaligayahan mo. Marry the man that makes your heartbeat fast." There is no felicity that i can hear on her voice, but i saw how she smiled sadly and it decimate the big part of me.

"I want to marry, Rodleigh." Despite of being broke i still tried to let them know whom i wanted to marry, whom i wanted to spend the rest of my life with.