Spider-Son & Iron Dad one shots

Just a collection of emo gen z peter parker

Tony looks around the tower. There's an Avengers meeting going on, but he can't find Peter.

"Hey, has anyone seen Peter?" He calls out.

An emotionless voice comes from the ceiling. "Present."

Everyone looks up at Peter, who is laying with his face pressed to the ceiling. Tony sighs and begins the meeting.

A few minutes go by and Tony looks up, and Peter hasn't moved at all.

"Peter," Tony says, actual concern in his voice. "Do I need to call someone?"

"No."

"Uh..okay."

XXXXX

Peter slumps into the room, a distressed look on his face. "I'm gonna die."

Tony doesn't glance up from his book. "Bad guys?"

"Finals."

Tony takes a deep breath and sighs deeply. "I'm disappointed in you, but I'm honestly not even surprised."

XXXXX

It's morning, and Peter spent the night at Avengers tower for the weekend. However, the night before he spent all night patrolling. Now it was Monday and Peter walks into the kitchen to get breakfast, exhausted. He takes a pack of pop tarts out of the freezer and puts it on a plate, then makes coffee.

Tony walks out of the lab with a cup of coffee at the same moment he sees Peter pouring Red Bull into his cup of coffee. Tony raises his eyebrow and takes a sip of his own coffee, and then chokes on it as he watches Peter start guzzling the whole cup.

Tony bursts out laughing and Peter glances up and waves before biting into a frozen pop tart and muttering "This is fine."

Tony doesn't argue.

XXXXX

Peter walks into class 10 minutes late with hello kitty pants and a baggy Star Wars hoodie.  He has eye bags under his eyes and an exhausted expression on his face. He's holding a cup advertising ice tea, but by the colour he's probably drinking coffee. It's the second trimester and Peter is already so done with school. 

He stops one step into the room. "Is this advanced math 2?" He asks groggily.

The teacher shakes her head. "No. It's world studies."

Peter blinks and slides into a seat. "Close enough."

The students chuckle and others mutter things such as "same" and "mood".

XXXXX

Peter sits on his bedroom ceiling, eating astronaut ice cream with his mask half-off.

"Hey Karen?"

"Yes, Peter?"

"How long do you think i'd survive if I lived on ramen and dollar store pizza?"

"Do I need to call Mr.Stark, Peter? Because that was an alarmingly specific question that could lead to several health problems if tested on a human."

"So, it's not healthy?"

"It would not be ideal, Peter."

"Okay."

XXXXX

Peter sits at a table, across from Tony. Peter looks terrible. He clearly looks like he needs 24+ hours of sleep at least. Tony wanted to confront him about it.

"Peter, have you been getting enough sleep?" He asks.

Peter blinks slowly. "Sometimes when I sneeze my eyes close."

Tony just sighs and gets up to leave. "Why do I even try."

XXXXX

They were working in the lab when it happened.

"Mr. Stark?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm legally changing my name to 🅱️eter."

Tony looks up and squints. "Beter?"

Peter doesn't look up from working. "No, 🅱️eter."

Tony sighs and puts the wire he was holding down. Peter looks up, worried he did something wrong.

He holds his fingers up about a centimeter apart. "I am this close to banning you from the internet, Peter."

Peter smiles and continues working.

XXXXX

"Should I go to school tomorrow or fling myself into the ocean?" Peter asks, laying in the middle of the kitchen looking up at the ceiling.

Tony just stares at Peter in pure disappointment.

"Why, son, are you like this?"