Spider-Son & Iron Dad one shots

Knives

Spooktober.14

May slams the box onto the kitchen table with raised eyebrows. "Why is there a box of knives in the closet?"

Peter looks up from his homework with a guilty expression. "I don't think you would like my answer."

May, of course, knew all about his Spider-Man antics. Despite this, she was practically his mother, and hated the idea of him being in danger. This is why Peter was reluctant to tell her.

But, being a mother-figure, she needs to know when things are in the concerning variety. May narrows her eyes at him. She points to the box and repeats the question. "Peter. Why is there a box of knives in the closet?"

Peter sighs deeply. If anything, this meant that May got new cooking utensils, after all of the knives were heavily sterilized. "So, you know how I get stabbed a lot?"

May's expression cracks into one of insanity. She's got a wild look in her twitching eyes. Her lips are pursed tensely in worry. "Peter—"

"Well—" Peter continues. "Before you taught me how to properly take care of those kinds of wounds, I kinda would just... take the knife out. And I kept all of them."

(May had taught him how to properly take care of wounds. She did used to work as a nurse, so when she found out her nephew was running around getting trauma wounds like it was nothing, she quickly taught him all she could about first aid so that her heart rate would calm down.)

May very calmly picks up the box of knives. She turns around and slowly closes the door.

Peter watches her go and then shrugs it off, going back to his homework.

She takes the box to the kitchen and counts the knives. There are twenty eight of them, ranging from pocket to kitchen, and the whole thing is really just ridiculous.

Twenty eight stab wounds. That's how many her baby had to endure. She sighs heavily once again, closing the box and putting it back in the closet.

...

Meanwhile, in the Avengers Compound:

"Hello?" Tony answers as he puts the phone to his ear.

May's voice responds clear as day, but her tone is as dark as night. "If I ever find there are more than twenty eight knives in this box that Peter has informed about, then there will be hell to pay for you, Mr. Stark."

Oh. So she found the box. A shiver runs up Tony's spine.

He was just as mad when he was told about The Box, but this was different. This was his fault, he's responsible for the kid when he's out on patrol. May took her parenting very seriously. She wouldn't hesitate to rip Tony a new one, and they both know it.

"...Understood, Ms. Parker."

May hangs up the call right after that.

It's always nice to hear from May Parker, Tony thinks distantly.