Spider-Son & Iron Dad one shots

Haunted House

Spooktober.03

a/n: set in an au where probably pepper but I'm going to say tony and co. never sold avengers tower because I'm still bittersweet about that

Tony is pretty sure that the tower is haunted.

He hears things in the walls. The kinds of things in the walls that are most definitely real, no Pepper, he is not going insane. Things like footsteps—IN THE WALLS.

That isn't the only thing, though. There have been weird technological issues. They happen only for a split second; a random glitch in a screen, the WiFi completely going out for a second, or a stutter in FRIDAY's voice.

Tony was about to let it go, honest, but then there were random temperature changes. He couldn't just ignore the truth then, not when it was basically right in front of him.

"Pepper, I can't just call the ghostbusters!" Tony complains loudly one night, after bursting through the door with an axe.

Pepper turns around with a face of disgust. "Tony—Why are you holding an axe?!"

"I was trying to find where the footsteps were coming from," Tony explains.

"So you started hacking at the walls? What if you hit a support beam, Tony? Did you even think about that?"

Tony scoffs. "Of course! I know where every support beam in the building is, Pep. I'm not stupid."

"Tell me that when you're not holding an axe, and maybe I'll believe you."

"That's fair."

The days continue on. Tony is still convinced that the tower is haunted. Last night, he had been enjoying a quiet evening, drinking some coffee at around three in the morning, when he heard more footsteps in the walls.

He had put his coffee down, wandered down the hallway to where the noise had come from, and knocked on the wall.

There was a knock in return.

Tony widened his eyes and walked back to his coffee, drinking all of it and then slipping away into the elevator to return to bed.

The next day, Tony tells Peter about the supposed spirit.

"Do you have salt?" Peter wonders.

"Why would I need salt?"

Peter shrugs, and sits up on the counter. "I don't actually know. MJ said that people use salt to ward off ghosts. To be honest, I don't really believe in any of it, but you can try it."

"You don't believe in ghosts?" Tony asks, sounding amused. "You could stay here for a night. Maybe the ghost would like you."

Peter laughs. "Yeah, maybe."

Tony wants to question further, but Peter has moved on, instead talking about his project for science class. He tunes into the conversation, because Peter always brings some interesting points and ideas into the conversation when it's anything to do with science. (Brilliant kid.)

Finally, a week later, Tony finally snaps.

He has a plan, because he's Tony Stark. Written on paper—in order to prevent further glitching technology—this is what he thought up.

1. Google things that ghosts like. 

2. Offerings? Maybe they like food? Cookies in the pantry

3. Lay out offerings 

4. Get salt apparently

5. Kick that ghost right out, it's not paying rent and I don't know them personally so you might as well call me Bill Murray because I ain't afraid of no ghost

6. Burn this paper and never show it to Parker, that kid doesn't need any more pop culture fodder

Looking down at the list with a sense of accomplishment, he nods and gets to work.

The clock reads 4 am. The skies are dark, and the tower is quiet, as most people have gone to sleep. But not Tony. Tony is on a mission.

The cookies are easy. He takes them out from the pantry and puts them out in the middle of the floor. That's the first two steps done. Easy.

He travels back to the kitchen, looking for salt. After brief difficulty locating it, he finally holds a container of regular sea salt and turns around.

While on his way to the hall, he hears it.

Footsteps.

Absolutely not. Tony clutches the salt, walking forward tentatively. He meets the corner, and this is it, really. He rounds this corner, throws salt at the ghost—and that's it, right?

He takes a deep breath, and then spins around the corner, throwing the salt forward.

Clint is what he's met with, sitting on the floor like a goblin and shoveling cookies into his mouth. He looks up. "What'd you just throw at me?" He asks, muffled.

Tony stares at him. "You're the ghost?"

"No, this is Patrick."

Tony shakes his head and turns on his heel. He returns the salt to the kitchen, and goes right to bed.

The next time there are "footsteps in the walls" happens the next day.

Peter looks up from his homework. "Wait, is that the ghost you were talking about?"

Tony gives him a dead stare before taking a broom out from under his desk and hitting the ceiling repeatedly with it. "GET OUT OF THE VENTS, CLINT."

Peter doubles over laughing. "You didn't know that was Mr. Hawkeye?"

"I don't need to talk about it."

Peter continues to laugh for a moment. He narrows his eyes at a paper. "Hey, what's this list say?"

Tony's eyes widen.

Looks like someone forgot step six.

The end.