Spider-Son & Iron Dad one shots

Txting with Avengers

Civil War didn't happen but yet Tony and Peter are still close. Idk

*Tony Stark added Peter Parker to The Avengers Group Chat*

Natasha: is peter spider-man?

Peter: no

Tony: yes

Peter: :/

Natasha: haha

Steve: Wow, you made Natasha laugh. Welcome to the family, Peter.

Peter: oml Steve Rogers just welcomed me to the avengers fam I'm shook

Steve: What?

Tony: we don't understand your weird lingo, kid

Peter: oml= oh my lord, fam= family, shook= shocked in an exasperated way

Steve: Oh. Thanks for explaining, Peter.

Peter: :)

Bruce: Tony I need you in the lab

Peter: Bruce?? Like, Bruce banner?!

Natasha: yeah.

Bruce: sorry, but the hulk isn't coming out for fan meets until comic-con

Peter: who needs the hulk when you have Bruce banner?! This is so cool

Clint: caw caw

Peter: uhh I don't know what sounds spiders make uhmmm 

Natasha: Thwip thwip

Peter: oh right we have two spiders hecc that's amazing

Vision: Hecc is not a word.

Peter: you are literally the internet, how do you not know that hecc is a word?

Vision: I feel like that's an insult.

Tony: leave the kid alone, vis

*Vision has left the chat room*

Peter: can I change my name?

Natasha: I don't see why not

*Peter Parker has changed his name to 'totally not a potato chip'*

totally not a potato chip: :)

Clint: haha

Steve: I'm confused.

totally not a potato chip: are you guys excited for Halloween?

Bruce: I'm not.

totally not a potato chip: why not?? It's so spoopy!

Steve: it's so poopy? 🤭😬

(Ok but that actually happened in my family's group chat and I was wheezing. Steve is a literal mom)

totally not a potato chip: n0-

Tony: what happened when I was gone? Geez

Natasha: actual chaos, tony.

Tony: who is 'totally not a potato chip'??

totally not a potato chip: your son 

Tony: Peter change your name back

totally not a potato chip: 😞

Tony: Peter 

totally not a potato chip: Mr. Stark

Tony: Spider-Man

totally not a potato chip: IronMan 

Tony: son

totally not a potato chip: d a d

Clint: guess I'm not the only dad now hAHA 

Bruce: Steve you owe me $45 

Steve: Darn

Bruce: language

Natasha: language

Tony: language

Clint: language

*Thor has entered the chat room*

Thor: language

totally not a potato chip: ‼️

Tony: haha fanboy

totally not a potato chip: T H O R ? ?

Thor: Why is a potato chip talking to me?

Tony: kid I know you're crying, my watch tells me when ur heart rate is elevated and stuff

totally not a potato chip: leave me alone I just met Thor

Natasha: awww

Steve: That's adorable.

Thor: I'm glad you like me, but how does a potato chip have feelings?

Tony: that's not a potato chip, it's a kid named Peter. He's Spider-Man.

Thor: Ah, yes. The man of spiders. I've heard of him.

totally not a potato chip: I am s o b b i n g

Bruce: that's rlly cute 

Natasha: :)

Clint: ok but this is adorable