Spider-Son & Iron Dad one shots

Peter being a gen z kid for a whole chapter

Thanks

"Geez, why is everyone these days having a midlife crisis at sixteen?" Tony asks, looking up from his phone.

Peter takes a bite of his marshmallow and peanut butter sandwich as he sits on the ceiling, a deadpan look on his face. "I don't know what part of my life is the middle, so I just call it an ongoing crisis."

Tony stares at Peter before returning his gaze to the cell phone, thinking it's best if he just didn't ask questions.

XXX

Tony was walking through the hallways, wondering what Peter was up to. As he walked next to his (open) bedroom door, he overheard the phone conversation he was having. He was going to leave, but something caught his ear.

"And then the guy I punched went, 'Your way of life disgusts me,' and Ned, I said the most brilliant thing ever. Guess what I said," Peter says, stifling a laugh.

Ned, on speaker phone hums in thought. "I don't know, what?"

"I said, 'is this arachnophobia or homophobia?'" Peter says, bursting out in laughter. Ned joins him in his laughter.

Tony leaves the hallway in a hurry as he tries to hide his snickers.

XXX

Peter (once again) sat on the the ceiling while holding a book. Next to him, he taped a piece of paper and a pencil to the ceiling so he could take notes.

Every once in a while, he would say something outloud. Whether it be a sarcastic joke, himself trying to repeat something so it could stick(haha), or just talking to himself in general. Tony didn't mind that much, so he just let it happen.

Peter let out a dry laugh. "Studying? More like, student dying," he laughed to himself.

"Peter, you good?" Tony asks, looking up at him.

Peter stares back with a face of absolutely no emotion. "I have been awake for 103 hours," he says robotically.

"Go to sleep, underoos."

XXX

"You doing english homework?" Tony asks, only half paying attention to Peter as he works.

Peter nods. "I have to read poetry and then write about it," he says simply.

Tony hums in response.

It's quiet.

Peter suddenly laughs and imitates,,, a certain,,person. "I THINK EMILY DICKINSON IS A LESBIAN!"

Tony sighs.

XXX

"Hey, on a scale of one to ten, how overwhelmed are you?" Tony asks, seeing Peter looking distressed.

Peter lets out a broken sigh. "I have had a long day. I am very small. And I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I'm under."

"Peter--"

XXX

Peter and Tony stand in the middle of a blown up bomb site. They luckily had gotten everyone safe before the bomb had blown up, but the wreckage was still pretty severe.

Tony glanced over and saw a garbage can filled with flames. He pointed it out to Peter and he got really excited. Tony smirked as he knew what Peter was going to say next.

"Mr. Stark, are you sure you don't want kids? I mean, look." Peter gestures to the garbage can. "....Could be a nursery."

Tony just snorted and put a hand on Peter's shoulder. "I already have a kid."