Spider-Son & Iron Dad one shots

Peter Says a No-No Word

No Spider-Man: Far From Home spoilers

It was a perfectly normal day in the labs, where Peter and Tony were working quietly on their own separate projects. One of Peter's equations weren't turning out right, and he was getting progressively more and more frustrated.

He had been hanging upside down and working on a clear white board. It took about ten minutes of frantically writing down numbers and erasing them over and over again before Tony noticed his troubles.

Tony was watching him through the see through glass, raising an eyebrow.

Peter didn't even glance at him, focusing completely on his work. He looked insane as he tried writing and the marker suddenly stopped working. He pulls away and looks at the marker in disgust. "Seriously?!"

Tony watches in fascination as Peter tosses the marker into the trash from his spot on the ceiling, and grab another one. Then Peter uncaps the marker and keeps writing.

Tony snorts and looks back at his work.

It's quiet again other than the squeaking of the marker as it writes on the glass for a few more minutes. Tony is completely entranced in his work, letting the rest of the world fade away as he focuses.

That is, until Peter figures out the equation he's been working on.

"HOLY SH*T—" Peter shouts in victory, and then falls off the ceiling with a loud crash.

Tony scrambled up to help him, his eyes wide. Then he narrows his eyes. "Did—Did you just curse?"

Peter laughs awkwardly. "Yeah, I got excited."

"Wow," Tony says dramatically. "I thought I'd have raised you better than this."

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, play a compilation of all the times Mr. Stark has sworn in the lab," Peter says smugly.

"Warning, explicit content—" F.R.I.D.A.Y warns.

"OKAY," Tony interrupts. "That's enough of that."

The video stops playing instantly, and Peter laughs. Tony shakes his head, smiling as he ruffles Peter's hair. "You're a terrible child, you know that?"

"Oh yeah, the worst," Peter laughs.

Tony snorts.

_______________

The next time Peter curses, Happy is there.

He was sitting in the backseat, rambling about his day when Happy was pulling out of the school parking lot.

Flash had last minute drove behind him, and Happy glared and honked he car horn angrily. Flash still didn't move.

"Pete, you know this kid?" Happy said, scowling.

Peter stopped talking and looked through the back window. He groaned. "Yeah, he's an a**hole, just keep honking."

Happy froze and physically turned around to look at Peter. "I'm sorry?"

"He's a jerk, you can keep honking the horn," Peter said.

Happy blinked and shook it off, turning around and mumbling something about how Peter spent too much time with Tony.

Peter didn't even notice he cursed.

___________

The last time Peter cursed, he was unfortunate enough to do it at an Avengers party.

His job was simple. Carry in the glasses and put them on the table while people were talking in the kitchen. And that's what he was doing.

He carried the glasses into the kitchen and then tripped on his feet, and the glasses went tumbling out of his arms went he steadied himself.

"OH SH*T—" he yelped.

Everybody froze and turned around to look at him. Peter turned red. It was dead quiet.

Then, quietly, Tony spoke.

"...language."

"OH WOW-" Steve fumed.

Other people started laughing and turned away from Peter, continuing their conversations.

Peter stopped going to Avengers parties after that.

He also tried to refrain from cursing so much when he was surprised. 

a/n: Ha two uploads in one day. What,  you didn't see that coming?