Serendipitous (Gawsten)

6. Spiral

Awsten wasn't focusing on the traffic as he drove towards the house that he didn't want to return to. In fact, there wasn't a place on this planet that he wanted to return to, which is why his brain worked the way it did. He was spiraling down a list of all the ways he had successfully managed to fuck up his life.

Why don't you move out? Because I can't afford it.
Why can't you afford it? Because I can't get a job.
And why not? Because I failed school.
Well then! Stop blaming your misery on other people, this is your fault.

Awsten was now pulling into the Wigington's driveway. He had subconsciously driven here and had managed to not get into an accident, unfortunately for him. He was still not completely sure why he was here, the only person who deserved an apology beyond those walls was Geoff, who had to deal with his ass while he was a complete mess. No, not an apology; a word of thanks, because Awsten was grateful, not sorry.

He turned off the car and unclipped his seatbelt, resting his head on his hands that were firmly gripping the steering wheel. He stayed there for a minute or two, putting off having to leave the space of his old truck that felt so safe. Tap, tap. Somebody was knocking on the bonnet of his truck, and Awsten pulled his head up to reveal Geoff, who just seemed almost amused by Awsten sitting alone in his car in the driveway.

Awsten slightly rolled his eyes and placed his forehead back onto the steering wheel, he began to realise how badly he did not want to talk to anybody right now. But he heard a car door open and a light breeze wash over him before the door closed again and warmth filled the air, a good kind of warm.

He lulled his head to the side, icy blue swallowing him as he acknowledged the soft gaze coming from Geoff, who was now sitting in the passenger seat of his car. "Can I help you?"

"You asked that last time."

"What?" Awsten decided to sit up properly now, looking at Geoff almost annoyed. This was the first time he was in control of his thoughts, last night he was preoccupied with his anxiety and couldn't actually take any notice of anything about Geoff. Now, he seemed to be drawn to his fraying ripped black jeans and plain black T-shirt, the small black ring that was pierced through his nose. His icy blue eyes that Awsten was already attached to, honey hair that fell over them.

All things considered, Geoff Wigington was actually really fucking hot.

"Last night, you asked if you could help me, which you can't. I know it was rhetorical and I'm taking it out of context, but, if I'm being completely honest, I think you are the one who could use a bit of help." Awsten didn't know what to say. He wasn't annoyed anymore, just slightly confused. "Sorry for rambling."

Geoff hadn't rambled, though. The way he spoke was poetic, almost. "I don't need help, thanks." He replied sarcastically, although the look he was getting from brunette suggested that maybe now wasn't the time for it.

"Seeing as though I had to pull you from having an anxiety attack last night, would, arguably, give me a stronger case." Awsten just glared at Geoff, death burned into his eyes but Geoff only chuckled to himself.

"Why are you in my car, anyway?"

"What, I'm not welcome?" Geoff teased, before sobering up and complying to provide a proper answer. "I was just coming back from my shift at work and noticed you alone in your car. Kind of sad. I wouldn't want to leave you alone in your car looking like you wanted to die, would I?"

Clearly not. "And what if I do? What if I like sitting alone in your driveway?" Awsten didn't like wanting to die, he liked the idea of dying which was the side-effect of wanting it. Maybe if circumstances were different he would have a hobby, like a sport. A hobby like every other person his age.

Instead, he was severely addicted to destroying himself.

"Then, Knight, that only proves my case further."

"It's Awsten."

"Oh, I know, but you have to earn your way onto a first name basis."

The two sat silently in Awsten's truck that resided motionlessly in the driveway. They were both staring through the windshield that screened a plain brick wall of Geoff's house, allowing Awsten to travel lightly back into his thoughts until he was reminded of what brought him here in the first place. "I have to apologise to your family."

"Holy shit, what did you do?"

"Well, Geoff," he made it obvious that he wasn't going to comply with Geoff's surname only rules. "That's what I'm still trying to figure out." The pains on Awsten's neck felt like they were drilled deep under his skin, it hurt so bad. The bruising seemed to have developed over the last little bit of time, because the gentle pressure from his turtleneck was causing him pain. The pain was not an issue when he first put it on.

He opened the door to the truck before sliding out, waiting for Geoff to do the same before locking the doors. The brunette was the first one to the door step, Awsten followed into the house. Cinnamon. "Geoff, is that you?" Awsten recognised this as Rachel, Mrs. Wigington's, voice. "Oh, hello, Awsten." She seemed confused, probably pissed off that he was back in her house.

"Hey, Mrs. Wigington." Awsten looked at Geoff who was still hanging around, probably waiting for something to go down. "I just thought I should drop by and apologise for last night." I didn't think that, my dad did, but I'm just his stupid fucking puppet.

Seeing as though not even Awsten knew exactly what he should be apologising for, he waited for a "don't worry, honey." Or "there's no need." But clearly there was, because she just gave him a small smile and waited.

"I g-guess I'm sorry f-for ghosting when everyone was celebr-brating your daughters birthday." He was slightly nervous causing him to stumble over his words. He knew that it was almost not his fault for disappearing when everybody was eating cake, and it was now that he remembered that Geoff also knew.

"I appreciate that, honey. Just don't do it again, it was very upsetting."

"It's Awsten."

"It wasn't his fault," this was Geoff now, Awsten gave him a look that was thankful but suggested not to elaborate, before looking over to Mrs. Wigington who was slightly death-staring at her son.

He rolled his head around in attempt to move the turtleneck, the seam was firmly digging into one of the blemishes on his neck.

And then Geoff firmly grabbed his wrist and began to drag him down the staircase.