Serendipitous (Gawsten)

61. Sound

Awsten would never have considered waking up to be a routine, it was natural, he didn't have to think about it, he didn't have to control it. If he did, he would never wake up, the whole point of sleep was to be out of control for just a little while.

His eyes didn't flutter open this time though. He didn't have to squint his eyes so that his pupils could constrict and adjust to the light. He didn't feel warm, cuddled up to Geoff.

His eyes shot open. It was dark. The first thing that he noticed was that Geoff's arms were no longer securing his body, Awsten's head was no longer on his stomach, either. He didn't exactly understand why the older boy had gotten up, but once again, he was alone.

As Awsten looked out of the car window, he immediately noticed that the sky was filled with dark clouds. Unusually dark. They were blocking out all of the sunlight, which was why everything seemed so dim. It wasn't storming or even raining for that matter, it was just so dark.

He felt like he couldn't breathe. He could faintly hear yelling from outside of the car, only being able to make sense of the fact that it was Geoff's voice, it sounded angry, he couldn't hear what the boy was saying or where it was coming from, either. He was probably having a phone call, since Awsten couldn't hear any other voices responding. There was just so much sound. It was pitching through Awsten's head, bouncing around like an adrift echo.

As he slowly began to come back into focus with everything, he could start to make out the words. Geoff wasn't on the phone screaming at anyone. He was yelling at Awsten.

"I knew this was a fucking mistake! What the fuck was I thinking? The only reason I even kept talking to you was for sex! And now I'm stuck with you!"

"W-What?" Awsten rubbed at his eyes as the words became clearer. He didn't understand.

"Fucking worthless!"

"S-Stop!" Awsten shakily screamed back, feeling himself starting to fall apart. The hot tears were suddenly falling down his face, he couldn't see. He still had no idea where Geoff was either or why he'd gotten so mad all of a sudden, but he just wanted it all to stop.

"-And now you're crying? Fucking hell! Do I have to butter everything up for your sensitive little head, hmm? Let me make this more simple so that your stupid fucking head may be able to make some sense out of this! You. Don't. Mean. Anything. To. Me. Is that easier for you to understand now, hmm?"

"Stop!" Awsten tried to scream again but no sound managed to come out, he was defenceless. He couldn't fight back.

"What, only have one word in your fucking vocabulary? You're dad was right. You're just a pathetic little faggot who doesn't eat and fakes anxiety attacks for some sort of attention. You are disgusting."

The tension finally released when Awsten woke up, gasping, clutching at anything to make sure that it was real this time. He managed to grab ahold of Geoff's loose shirt, desperately clutching onto it as he began uncontrollably sobbing into the sleeping boy's chest who was still tightly holding onto him.

Geoff woke up, immediately pulling Awsten into his chest and shifting himself so that he was sitting up a bit more. "Awsie? Hey, what going on, sweetheart? What's wrong?" There was no way that Awsten would be able to speak in the condition that he was in right now. He was shaking worse than Geoff had ever seen, his sobs were broken. Whatever had caused this must have hurt him bad.

Geoff could only assume that it was a dream, that was the most likely option, if he could figure out what it was about then he'd probably be able to help calm the younger boy down.

"Was it about your dad?" Geoff left one hand holding the crying boy tightly into his chest, using the other to gently run his fingertips up and down Awsten's clothed back. The boy managed to slightly shake his head, at least Geoff was managing to get a response. "Was somebody trying to hurt you? In a dream?"

Awsten managed to give a small shrug in response, at least Geoff was getting somewhere. He wasn't even sure how to handle or direct this conversation, whatever it was he had to do it quick before Awsten got any worse.

"Did somebody hit you?" No. "Get mad at you?" Yes. "Okay, uh... You said that it wasn't your dad, was it someone in your family?" No. Geoff sighed, he was out of ideas. "W-Was it me?"

Geoff felt something sink in his stomach when Awsten nodded his head. Even though it was a faux reality, Awsten's thoughts disguised as a false version of himself, Geoff still felt sickeningly guilty over that fact that Awsten was this upset.

"Oh, sweetheart. It's going to be okay. I'm here, I'm not mad at you." Geoff held Awsten reassuringly, protectively into his stomach, pressing gentle kisses to the boy's head when he got the chance. He didn't know what he'd said in Awsten's dream to upset him, meaning that he wasn't able to tell him how wrong he was, but something about not being able to make Awsten feel better was even worse.

"P-Please don't-t leave m-me."

"Aws. I could never do that."