Serendipitous (Gawsten)

72. Save

By morning, Awsten was comfortable again. Geoff was no longer a threat, a trigger, the blast cap suffocated in wires that was going to rip him to shreds.

Geoff was the one to take him away from all of that. Save him from the miserable little life that he was living, even if it was only temporary. Everything was temporary. The only difference between that and permanency was immunity, and Geoff was a lethal drug bound to dissolve the vaccines.

As good as it felt, connections deteriorated, disintegrated into particles that dispersed through the air, invisible. Love was a chemical that clouded his head, wearing off before it even begins to clear up, stimulating confusion. Awsten just had to pray that his wore off first, he didn't want to get hurt again. He'd never owned a chest full of heartache, and he wasn't exactly keen to change that, ever.

He opened his eyes slowly, he hated waking up. What he hated even more was that the boy who had distracted him from misery was not laying with him, which caused Awsten to wonder whether he was dreaming, once again.

He pinched himself, hard, before deciding that he wasn't dreaming, because that fucking hurt. He also decided that sitting up was not a good idea, seeing as though when he did, his whole body flared up in pain.

"Oh- hey, Aws," Geoff lifted his eyes to meet the other boy's and smiled softly, still playing around with something in the front seats of the car. His voice was so soft. Awsten really wouldn't mind waking up anymore if he got to hear that every morning. "How was your sleep?"

The small boy could only groan in response, groggily rubbing at his eyes, pulling his knees into his chest. "'M cold," he mumbled, hugging himself tightly. He was still wearing his thick hoodie and long sweatpants, he shouldn't have been cold. It wasn't even that cold outside. It was quite warm, actually.

"Oh, bub." Geoff moved from the front of the car and walked around to the backseats, climbing over them to get into the back with Awsten, who was shaking like crazy, arms holding himself tightly. "Do you feel sick? D'you have a fever?"

The older boy held his hand against Awsten's forehead, which felt a completely normal temperature. He wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. "I-I only had a f-fever-r 'couple nights ago-o."

"You feel fine," Geoff mumbled, frowning a little. "What else feels wrong?"

"Just cold." There was no doubt in the older boy's mind that Awsten was, in fact, freezing. He was shaking hard, holding himself tightly, even his lips were a soft shade of purple, his whole face looked pale.

"Okay, sweetheart. Come here." Geoff pulled Awsten fully into his lap, his head resting against his chest as the smaller boy pulled his legs closer to his body. One of Geoff's hands found one of Awsten's, interlacing their fingers together. His hand was so cold. "Baby, you're fucking freezing."

Awsten let out a weak laugh. "I c-could have told-d you tha-at." Geoff pulled the smaller boy closer to him, holding him tightly, running his hand up and down Awsten's clothed bicep.

"Do you want me to take you to a doctor, or maybe a hospital? I... I can't leave you like this."

Awsten shook his head in decline. "'M okay. Just n-need a couple of-f minutes. That's-s a-all."

Geoff accepted that answer, only partly. If Awsten didn't warm up soon, then he would take him into town to see a doctor before they went home. "If you think something is really wrong, you have to promise me that you will tell me, okay? Please."

Awsten could only nod, curling into himself more, feeling Geoff holding him tightly. It helped. "Y-You're so-o warm-m," Awsten smiled, gently leaning up to kiss the older boy's jaw before cuddling back into his chest. He was still shaking, a lot, but Geoff was warming him up, and that's all he could have ever wanted.

"I could have told you that," Geoff quoted the small boy's words back to him, smiling softly. But Awsten could tell that Geoff was upset, his voice wavered with worry when he spoke, and he was holding the boy tightly into him, protectively.

"I'm o-okay, Geoffy-y," Awsten confirmed, clutching onto the boy's shirt. "Jus' a little b-but cold, that's-s all. No need-d to w-worry."

The older boy just leaned down to kiss Awsten's messy hair, his thumb still tracing circles on the boy's arm. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to tell awsten something, but it was too early. He just decided to stay silent.

And then he realised.

He knew why Awsten was cold now. Awsten was dying.