"I love you, too," Awsten whispered back as he smiled softly and closed his eyes tightly. "Did I, uh... eat enough?"
Geoff only responded by brushing his fingers over Awsten's knuckles and a small smile, which could lead in two different ways; 'of course, Awsie. I'm so proud of you', or, the other, 'do you think that you could just eat a little bit more? It would make me so happy'. He, surprisingly, was met with neither. "That's not a question you need to ask me, sweetheart. Do you feel like you've had enough to eat? It's not my place to say. It's your choice, remember?"
He nodded, contemplating whether he was relieved or concerned since his indecision never sided in his favour. "Okay," he mumbled, playing with his fork as he stared at it. "Just a little more wont hurt, I'm sure."
He wasn't sure what part of him had given him the initiative to do something that he would never have agreed to on his own, and once again, he did not feel pressured or expected to; part of him just wanted to give Geoff that high of feeling proud because his boyfriend was getting better, or at least trying. He deserved to feel proud.
Awsten had other ways of managing the sick feeling, anyway.
He managed to get through twice as much as he had already eaten before walking with his plate to the kitchen, leaving Geoff at the table, although it wasn't long before the older boy was next to him. "Everything okay, sweetheart?" Geoff questioned as he ran his fingers along the boy's lower back, something that he'd found usually calmed him down.
"I'm okay."
He put his plate in the sink and started to fill it with water. They had a dishwasher, but Awsten always made sure that he at least cleaned his own plate and cutlery, and if he could manage to scrub anyone else's, it was just a bonus. Not because he particularly enjoyed washing dishes, but because it felt like one of the very minor things that he could do to prove how appreciative he was of being accepted into a family that cared about him.
"Am I really going to have to remind you that you don't need to do that, Awsten?" Geoff's mother smiled as he walked into the kitchen and put her plate into the dishwasher, cutting him off before he could protest. "Go and enjoy yourself. The plates will wash themselves."
He smiled gratefully and shifted his gaze to his boyfriend, who had an arm wrapped around his mother's waist and kissed her on the head before whispering a 'thank you', dragging Awsten out of the kitchen by his wrist, playfully.
"I was hoping that I would be able to try to get onto Gracie again, tonight, if that's okay?" She hadn't answered her phone at all in the last week that he had tried calling her which really didn't worry him, it was probably rather likely that she had just had her phone confiscated by their parents, for whatever reason. He hadn't even seen her, since she was still grounded.
"Of course it's okay, sweetheart," he responded, still holding onto his boyfriend's hand while they made their way into the basement. Geoff found his phone, pulling up Gracie's contact number, before handing it off to Awsten with a small kiss to his head. "I'll be upstairs. Give you two some privacy."
He nodded and smiled. He had so much to appreciate about that boy and he just never knew how to show it.
Awsten pressed call and eagerly pressed the phone to his ear, paying attention to ever ring that went by, counting them all in his head. He hung up by the twenty-fourth chime and placed Geoff's phone back down on the bedside table, sighing slightly. He missed her a lot, and the only thing that he hated about not being home, was not being able to see her.
And Gracie's distractions were not blocking the frequencies of the circuits that wired up his brain, meaning that the cogs could continue to grind together as the blurry thoughts pieced themselves together.
He felt sick. He ate a lot. A lot more than he would have liked to.
Awsten stared at the closed bedroom door, knowing that the bathroom was so close, and Geoff was so far upstairs, and he would never have to find out. He could keep quiet, he knew that he could; he'd been throwing-up his meals for the last five weeks, ever since that first time on their way back home.
He thought for a few minutes. He couldn't say how long, but long enough that he started to worry about how long he had until his boyfriend decided to come back down into the basement.
He thought it over one last time before pushing himself off of the bed and over to the bedroom door that was now open, and he was walking into the bathroom, and now the door was closed behind him, and he was on his knees and kneeling over the toilet bowl. It all happened out of instinct, really; it was being trained into him.
Geoff didn't know that he did this. Geoff would never forgive him if he did.
He took a few deep breaths before shoving two fingers down to the back of his throat and letting his body get rid of this poison.
"Fuck... Awsten?"
Geoff didn't know that he did this. Geoff would never forgive him if he did.
And now he knew.
YOU ARE READING
Serendipitous (Gawsten)
Fanfiction[COMPLETED] An apathetic boy with colourblindness and too many problems serendipitously meets a boy who may be able to help him feel all of the colours he'd never seen.
