Serendipitous (Gawsten)

75. Slow Seconds

He only acknowledged Geoff for the first time since they had stopped to eat when the older boy had pulled into his driveway and turned off the engine of his car.

Awsten hadn't said a word since they'd left the café, too nauseated from wallowing in guilt to bring himself to speak. This was too much. Being home was going to be bad, but betraying Geoff felt worse. Much worse.

"You awake, Aws?"

He'd pretended to be asleep for the whole drive back. He couldn't bring himself to even hear Geoff talk to him. He didn't even 'wake up' when the older boy stopped for a cigarette. It was starting to become dark outside now despite not wanting to get here at night, but at least his eyes quickly adjusted when he finally opened them.

"Maybe."

The hardest part for him was the constant conflict inside of his head that was debating whether he should continue to pretend to be trying to get better and be gnawed at by the lie that he was living, or admit what he had done and let Geoff help him get better. Neither were ideal.

"I thought that I promised you that I wouldn't let anything bad happen to you?" Too late. "It's going to be more than fine, sweetheart. My parents trust me, and if I say that you can't go home, then you aren't going home. Okay?"

He hesitated before nodding; he trusted Geoff, regardless of whether he actually believed what he was saying or not. It seemed unlikely that they would come up with a better option for Awsten before he overstayed his welcome, but he could worry about that later. He just needed to trust Geoff.

Awsten was washed over in cold air as the older boy got out of the car, and despite the hoodie that was currently draped over his form, his skin pricked with little dots of shiver. He sighed and pulled on the latch of his car door and pushed it open, sliding out of the passenger seat. His chest was tight, his breath exhaling in little pants of fog.

He felt a warm hand tangle with his own, and gripping onto it tightly, he began to follow Geoff's footsteps up to the doorstep. His other hand made its way to Geoff's bicep which was covered in fabric from his own hoodie, but he still clutched at it like a lifeline. His nerves were getting to the better side of him.

"It's okay," Geoff hushed, squeezing Awsten's hand lightly for reassurance before opening the door to the house. After stepping inside, he immediately noticed that it was fairly quiet inside, although there was a fuzz of noise coming from the television.

"Geoffrey!"

Awsten let go of Geoff's sleeve and hand, taking a step away from him as the older boy's mother rushed from where she was sat in the living room, over to where her son was stood, immediately encasing him in a tight hug. The quick movement startled Awsten at first, but he just closed his eyes, reassured himself, and opened them again.

"Where have you been? I've been so worried about you, I'm disappointed that you would do something so irresponsible," she scoffed, although quickly pulled him back into another hug. Her affection was stronger than her anger.

"I'm okay, ma," he reassured her firmly, clearly a little bit hurt that she thought that he had done something unforgivable, unforgettable. "I've just been away, with Awsten." The younger boy wished that he could just disappear. He was uncomfortable, he didn't feel safe. This wasn't his space.

"Awsten, honey," she looked at him apologetically with her lips pursed sternly. "Your parents have been hassling me to find out where you've been, they've been worried sick." Unlikely, he thought, although he wouldn't voice it. He just continued staring at the floor. "I can drive you home, it's no worries. Just give me a minute to call your parents and let them know that you're here."

Awsten's eyes flicked up quickly in panic, staring at Geoff. "Ma, no," Geoff quickly cut in, grabbing her arm to stop her from walking past him and getting her phone. "He's not going home, things aren't okay there. He has nowhere to go. He's staying here, he can stay in my room. You won't even know."

"Geoff," she said firmly, furrowing her eyebrows. "He can't stay here, I'm sorry. His parents want him to go home and I have to respect that."

Awsten felt like he was going to cry. Helpless and pathetic. He should have known that this was going to happen, he should have braced for it. He had kept his hopes too high. Now he was taking the fall.

"No, you don't," Geoff said firmly, protectively pulling Awsten into his side as the boy stumbled towards him for comfort. "If you say anything to anyone about him being here I will never forgive you. Ever."

Geoff's mother was taken aback by this. Awsten knew that it was fairly out of character for the older boy to talk back to someone older or superior to him, but he was willing to do that to protect Awsten.

"What?"

"I care about him," Geoff stated simply, factually. Nobody has properly cared for him before. "-and I will not let him get slaughtered by his parents just because you think it's the right thing to do."

"I'm already upset with you, Geoffrey. Please, do not talk back to me. We do as I say."

"I don't think so, since you don't understand his situation." Geoff was furious although his presence was fairly calm, or at least was being portrayed that way. Awsten could tell, though, by the grip that tightened on his waist. "I'm old enough to make my own decisions, ma. This one doesn't affect you. I'll cover the costs for him to stay, alright?"

His mother shook her head in disbelief. "Why are you so desperate for him to stay with us?"

"Because he isn't safe at his own home, I already explained that," Geoff sighed and looked down at Awsten. "And he's my boyfriend, and I care about him."

The room went silent. The only thing that Awsten could hear was his own heartbeat that felt like it was crawling up his throat. He was going to have a panic attack if this carried on for much longer, and a severe one, at that. Time was slow. The seconds were slow.

"Sorry, what?" His mother quickly stuttered out, her eyes wide. She didn't believe him. "What about Chloe?"

"I'm gay, mum."

Silence, once again.

"Can we have a minute, please?" Geoff's mother turned to Awsten, clearly frustrated. He didn't exactly want to leave Geoff's side at this point, he felt like he couldn't. Geoff was his safety pin. But he also hated feeling like he was intruding, and it was fairly obvious that he was right now.

He looked up at Geoff, worried, before quickly nodding his head. "It's alright, Aws," the older boy hushed while rubbing small circles into Awsten's hip. "Why don't you go downstairs and take a shower, okay?"

"O-Okay," he whispered, his eyes brimming with tears. There was only so much that Geoff could do for him. The older boy pressed a kiss to Awsten's head before letting go of his waist and giving him a soft smile.

Shaking, he pulled away from Geoff and began to walk away, towards the stairs to the basement. It was all too much.

A/N:
Sorry for not updating in such a long time wow uh yeah I'm on a lot of meds right now but that also means that I'm feeling better and more energetic so!! I should have regular updates coming again :)