The smartest option, by far, would have been to run back out of the house from the same way that he had come in, but his instincts managed to take over and in a split moment of panic, he was running up the staircase and into his room. It would be safe there; he had his locks, and he could just leave like he did that last night with Geoff, from climbing out the window and onto the generator.
Except for when he made it to the top of the staircase, hand still applying pressure to where the glass had made him bleed, the panic only set in more. His door had been kicked in and seemingly left unfixed from whenever that had happened, and that made this plan now perforated, and his brain had become unfathomable in a way that now ceased his logical thinking before.
Thinking wasn't exactly working in his favour as he stood in the doorway of his bedroom and stared at it, being the same way as when he'd left it; how he'd left it from having sex with Geoff and falling asleep naked under the blankets in a way that seemed memorable as innocence, which didn't make too much sense, but he couldn't really decipher too much right now.
His eyes quickly drifted from point to point as he quickly analysed what was left of his safe place that was no longer safe, noticing that he wasn't being followed at this time, but also knew well enough that his father was probably just finding something to drink before deciding to make his way up.
He didn't know where his phone was, to call Geoff, or the cops, or anyone, and he didn't have time to be pulling things apart to find it, so he didn't bother. His eyes locked onto the safety pin and burnt out cigarette that was still on his bedside table. A smile wanted to make itself present on his face, but he refrained as he reminded himself of panic, and the fact that he needed to choose what to do.
He wasn't sure whether it was the better idea, but he ran into his bathroom and shut the door, sliding the pin across to lock it.
His breathing was barely steady, barely breathing, as he heaved and stumbled over to the basin in panic to lazily rest his arms on the counter and hold his hands over the sink so that the blood had somewhere to fall as he closed his eyes shut for a moment to assess what was happening, paying attention to what he could hear in order to figure out where did father was, but being unsuccessful in only hearing his ears offer an inescapable high pitched ringing that blared through his head and deafened his sense.
His hands were dripping blood. Keeping himself calm was the first task that he had to manage, and then he could figure out how to handle the rest of himself and the situation.
He could see the little fibres of glass shards that were twinkling back at him as their talons shot into his nervous system in order to dismantle it until the chemical reaction sparked in which he could feel nothing but stinging, until he could see nothing but ink dribbling across the incisions of his pale and insubstantial layers of skin.
The lock on his bathroom door would not hold for very long. He was stupid to come home. Geoff didn't have to say that he loved Awsten to mean it. He'd already proven it. The smaller boy was just overreacting at a point in time that consequences could be forgotten because they weren't always planted in the foreground of his head, because safety no longer felt unattainable with Geoff.
He wished that he still had the protection of his bedroom, but he supposed it made sense. He'd left the locks closed on the night that he'd left, and his dad never really was considered the epitome of patience, and had probably kicked in his son's door out of anger instead of getting into Awsten's room by climbing onto the generator and through his window, to unlock it from the inside.
His vision went almost blurry for a moment as he blinked out his dizzy spell and compose himself, focusing back on the blood in the bleached white sink.
Those tiny shards of glass needed to come out of his hands.
This was not going to be fun.
YOU ARE READING
Serendipitous (Gawsten)
Fanfic[COMPLETED] An apathetic boy with colourblindness and too many problems serendipitously meets a boy who may be able to help him feel all of the colours he'd never seen.
