The first time that Awsten had gone to Geoff's house for dinner, just over a month ago, he'd been extremely anxious. This time was different- it wasn't anxiety that was closing over his throat, it was dread.
It was now late in the afternoon on a Friday, Awsten was going to be forced to see Geoff in about an hour. He'd tried to get out of going, it earnt him a dark purple bruise that now spread across his pale skin that sat over the right side of his ribcage.
He had cried to himself for the entirety of the previous night, he wasn't even sure what caused him to be so upset. He had this feeling that maybe it was from confusion, he didn't know what he wanted anymore and it was breaking him down even further. His emotions were very conflicted though, they could cycle through every shade on the entire colour wheel in only a few minutes.
He sighed as he stared at the clothes in his wardrobe, he was getting sick of having to sort through them all the time and deciding which shade of grey it was that he felt like wearing that day. He pulled on a clean pair of black skinny jeans, that was what he always wore, as well as the same pale blue hoodie that he had worn the night that he'd gone to see Geoff in the hospital.
He had Dirty Work playing through his speaker in his bedroom. He absolutely hated this album, he used to love it but all that he could think about were the playful fights that he and Geoff used to get into over it, the only reason that he'd decided to play it now was because it just seemed to fit his current mood; hateful.
He knew that it couldn't be too much longer before Gracie was going to knock on his door and tell him that they had to leave, each passing moment was filling his body up with dread, he could feel it spilling from his throat as he stared down at his shaky fingers. It was going to be a long night.
Awsten probably wouldn't have been worried to go if he thought that Geoff wasn't going to be there, just like at Sarah's birthday, except he knew that he would. The only reason they were going to visit was for a 'we're glad you aren't dead' celebration, he has to show up to his own anti-funeral.
He decided to wear a pair of his black boots that he really liked, he wanted to at least be in a comfortable outfit if he had to be removed from the comfort of his bedroom. He already couldn't wear ripped jeans because his parents would have gotten very mad about that and he wasn't exactly in the mood to become a personal punching bag again.
He decided to turn off Dirty Work and sit in silence until he had to leave, which happened almost ten minutes later. He heard Gracie knock quietly on his door, he couldn't explain it but she had this particular knock, it was almost comforting to know that it was Gracie who was on the other side of his door.
He quickly got his phone and tangled earphones before shoving them into his back pocket, also taking his half-empty pack of cigarettes and his yellow lighter before putting them into the pocket of his pastel hoodie.
He rushed to his door and started to unlatch the six locks that were fixed to the back of his door, he used to have seven, except one of them had broken off in a recent argument that he'd had with his father.
By the time that he'd opened his door Gracie wasn't there anymore, she must have been downstairs, he walked carefully down the staircase, cautions not to stand on any creaky floorboards, just in case.
He noticed that Gracie was standing with both of his parents as they were waiting on him, he walked straight past them and to the car though, he wasn't in the mood for an argument that would consist of them complaining about probably being three minutes late and how it would be all his fault.
He shoved his earphones into his ears and started to play his music as his father drove towards Geoff's house, he kept it playing quietly because everyone was sat in silence and he would get in a lot of trouble if his parents could hear it. His father was the one to break that silence. "Don't understand why we have to go," he muttered, he was so against Awsten not wanting to go before. "Kid's fault if he tried to kill himself, it isn't our problem."
Awsten wasn't sure what colour he was feeling, but he was pretty sure that it was very dark red; he was mad. He didn't speak up though, he'd rather not initiate a fight and end up getting killed from being run off the road. On second thought, that didn't actually sound so bad. "Your fault you're just a dick, yet you still make it my problem."
With that, the inevitable screaming started, he smiled contently to himself before turning his music up and staring out of his window. He felt bad that Gracie always had to deal with the arguments and now it was his fault that it started, but he quickly glanced over to her and she didn't look like she really minded all that much.
YOU ARE READING
Serendipitous (Gawsten)
Fanfiction[COMPLETED] An apathetic boy with colourblindness and too many problems serendipitously meets a boy who may be able to help him feel all of the colours he'd never seen.
