Serendipitous (Gawsten)

69. Shrapnel

The rain had started over an hour ago.

Geoff's mind was relapsing over and over again like an unsteady timer on some sort of bomb that was threatening to detonate in his head, only taking away the good thoughts with the explosion, shrapnel piercing through whatever it could find. He hadn't stopped worrying about Awsten.

Ever since the night before when he'd been laying with the younger boy, naked, he couldn't stop obsessing over how thin he noticed that the boy was. How he couldn't remember the last time Awsten had eaten, if he had even eaten at all while they'd been away.

Every time that Geoff would ask Awsten if he was hungry, he'd always reply with 'maybe later'. But there never was a later. Because Awsten just wasn't eating.

Of course, he'd noticed that Awsten was unusually underweight before, but he'd never been worried like he was now. He'd never realised how little Awsten was actually eating, which he guessed was the sole cause of the boy's delicate figure.

He refused to bring it up, though. If it didn't get better, soon- which he doubted that it would, then he would bring it up, even if it put the relationship on the line. But he wouldn't, not now. This trip away was the time that Geoff was dedicated to making sure that Awsten knew how beautiful he truly was. He was fragile and insecure. The older boy couldn't risk bringing up his body right now.

It wasn't even his body. Geoff believed that every single fucking inch of that boy was unspeakably perfect. He just wasn't looking after himself properly. It was a death wish.

They were sitting in the front of the car, watching as the rain trickled heavily down the windshield, not being able to see beyond it. Their faces were reflected on the glass, distorted from the water flow. It almost felt as if everyone else could look in and see them but they could only see themselves, reflected over and over again.

"Did you talk to Gracie?" The silence broke as the thoughts became too much for Geoff. Little did he know that they were even worse in Awsten's head.

The smaller boy nodded slowly, retracing the phone call back through his mind. "My parents are fucking furious. They want to get the police involved, apparently."

"It's going to be okay, sweetheart." Geoff placed his hand on his boyfriend's thigh, protectively, almost. "If the police find us, we tell them the truth, yeah? Your parents abuse you and it wasn't safe to stay there. That's all you have to do."

Awsten nodded lazily, it wasn't something that he wanted to have to do, even the older boy knew that. "She was also sick, the night before we left... nobody was home because they were all at the hospital with her." Awsten pushed some hair out of his face that kept getting in the way, he really needed to trim and dye it again.

"I know."

"I could have been an uncle."

"Yeah, love. Sarah told me."

"You already knew?" Awsten furrowed his eyebrows, almost sadly. "You knew before I did?"

Geoff nodded. "I didn't want to say anything because I felt like it should be her who told you." He rubbed gently at the boy's thigh to keep him calm, although Awsten didn't look like he was going to break down again. "I already had the feeling. Her symptoms started showing one night at my house."

"Oh." Awsten pinched the bridge of his nose from stress, he was having trouble comprehending everything. "My parents took it really well, actually. They were more upset about the miscarriage than the fact that she actually got knocked up in the first place."

"But they're mad that you're into guys?" The older boy questioned, trying to follow along. "So who's-"

"-Who's the father?" Awsten finished Geoff's sentence for him, already knowing he would ask this. "She doesn't know, apparently it could be, like, four different guys. I never thought she was like that. Like, ever."

"You really didn't know?" Geoff was almost shocked, he knew more than Gracie's own brother did. "Do you not even know about the drinking?"

"She drinks? She's fucking sixteen!" The roots to everything were getting slightly more tangled as the conversation went along. "How would you even know about that, anyway?"

"Who the fuck do you think manages to get them into all of those nightclubs?" Geoff laughed a little, cautiously though, waiting to see if Awsten would get upset about the older boy sneaking his little sister into clubs. He didn't, though.

"You're such a dick." Awsten was joking though, almost proudly at how not only Geoff but Gracie had managed to get away with doing that for so long.

"You love me for it, though."

"Whatever," Awsten rolled his eyes, watching the water running frantically down the glass. "She better not be doing drugs or I will actually kill you-"

"-She's not. Not that I know of. That's the one thing that I said they weren't allowed to do. They smoked weed once and hated it, I doubt they'd want to do anything beyond that, anyway." Awsten wasn't convinced, getting slightly jittery as he fiddled around with his shaky fingers. "Aws, come on. She listens to me. I'm kind of like... her cool dad or something."

"Please don't say that, that would make me kind of like your fucking son and I'm not about that."

"Oh," Geoff sighed sarcastically, smirking at Awsten whose gaze was still on the watered down glass. "That would be kind of hot."

"I fucking hate you."

"That's a good start."