He wanted to keep sleeping. He was so goddamn exhausted and his body was begging him to just pull the blankets around him a little tighter and drift back off into a deceptive state of peace, but he had already been trying for nearly an hour, and nothing had changed.
He was freezing cold, once again, and he couldn't get warm.
His hands were shaking as he pulled the blankets around him more to encase himself in some sort of pocket of warmth but nothing was improving his body's temperature. Every one of his limbs were stiff, too, as if they would chip off like icicles with the gentlest tap of a wooden chisel.
It only began to dawn on him in this moment that he didn't know the specifics about where exactly the spare bedroom was. Geoff had been thorough enough with his directions to confirm that he was going to be close by and Awsten would be safe, but there was no way he would be able to locate the sleeping boy from where he was now.
He was just about certain that Geoff would be asleep at this moment, seeing as though it was five-thirty in the morning and the older boy didn't exactly enjoy the mornings enough to appreciate the opportunities of waking up before the sunrise, if there even were any.
He needed to get warm. He needed Geoff.
Maybe if his entire body wasn't so fragile and weak at this current moment he would attempt to stand and make his way, quietly, up to find the older boy to cuddle into him, ignorant of the repercussions that Geoff had warned him about if they were found in the same bed. He couldn't even bring himself to stand, though; not with the panic reverberating through his blood, ricocheting off the walls of his body that was so quick that it hurt, causing a visible violent shaking.
His breathing didn't stabilise even though his lungs didn't feel shrunken like they usually did whenever he was panicking, meaning that all of his symptoms must have been from how cold he was. That was the confirmation that he needed just to know that he wasn't being overdramatic or irrational or making something up for an excuse to go see his boyfriend. He was genuinely way too cold.
The last time that this had happened, when they were away by the river in their temporary resort to paradise, Geoff had requested to take Awsten to a doctor back in town, his voice wavering with urgency. Something wasn't right, Awsten just couldn't figure out what.
He had managed to get out of bed at one point to lay a few extra blankets from the corner of Geoff's room over the bed, as well as pile on a few extra layers of thick clothing that he dug out of the older boy's dresser drawers, trying to heat himself up. It just didn't seem to be working.
Knowing what colour he felt at any one time usually helped him feel better, in some twisted way. As if he could figure out how to change his current colour by knowing what other colours would make it disappear. He couldn't see them though, and that meant that if he couldn't figure out how he felt, it was unlikely that he would be able to. Like now.
He shakily stood from the bed and held onto the frame of the headboard as he shed one of the blankets on top of the duvet and carefully wrapped it around his shoulders, pulling the opening where the ends met shut tightly around him to hold in the warmth, except it only seemed to do the opposite; seal the cold inside, unable to escape.
He didn't care about the repercussions at this point. He didn't care what Geoff would say when Awsten found him and woke him up. Awsten will find him and wake him up. He felt as if he was on the verge of dying from frostbite and, as unlikely as it seemed to him, he feared that. He didn't want to die anymore.
He didn't want to die.
He stumbled over the loose ends of the blanket as he opened the door to the older boy's bedroom and proceeded to make his way, carefully, up the staircase in the pitch black house. He had no idea where the pressure points in the wooden stairs were in Geoff's house, so he had to feel with his bare feet where each step dipped so that he could avoid making noise, out of habit. That killed a lot of time, time that he could have been wrapped in Geoff's arms, no longer as cold as he currently was.
It's at the far end of the house, past the living room.
He knew where the living room was, at least; making his way there in the dark was significantly harder than if the sun had uncovered itself from its mountainous blanket, but he managed. He found himself proceeding down an unfamiliar hallway, a place he had never been, a place that he had no idea how to navigate. It was deathly quiet from the restful night, sleepless for the boy, much like he would have expected.
The silence, however, was making it rather difficult.
He was lucky enough that one of the doors in the hallway was split open enough to see into, and the older boy's mother and step-father were deadly asleep inside, meaning that only one of the other two closed doors would open to the comfort of Geoff. His luck only heightened when he noticed a small flick of a shadow on the wall, drawing his attention to the small slit under the last door in the hallway where the dimmest illumination could be seen moving. The candles. Geoff's candles.
He walked towards it and quietly turned the old doorknob, and when he saw his boyfriend asleep in the bed, he couldn't help but let out a tiny sob that he hadn't realised that he was holding in.
damn milly this chapter sucks milly wtf milly give us a good chapter for one milly
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Serendipitous (Gawsten)
Fanfiction[COMPLETED] An apathetic boy with colourblindness and too many problems serendipitously meets a boy who may be able to help him feel all of the colours he'd never seen.
