It must have rained slightly while Awsten was in Geoff's basement because the ground was damp and the air smelled like rain. The car ride home was slow, he was being cautious as he drove through puddles to not lose grip of the steering wheel.
In all honesty, Awsten knew that he shouldn't drive; he could see perfectly clear, but the lack of colour that his brain processed could put him in serious danger. He had to use the traffic to dictate his decisions, it was extremely difficult for him to be able to differentiate between a green light and a red light.
It was late autumn, the world slowing down as the months fell into winter, but as of right now, it felt like summer in Awsten's head. It felt like summer in his brain for the first time in months, All Time Low ringing through his memory, completed with a constant reminder of Geoff's damned smile.
Arriving back at his house, Awsten felt confident. He felt as though nothing could hurt him, like he had to courage to confront anyone who was willing to disagree with him. This feeling was foreign but it felt right, it felt as though this was a trait that had been trying to push its way out, like it belonged but circumstances were trying to block its pathways.
He noticed that Gracie and his mother were home from church as he pushed open his front door. "I'm really disappointed in you, Awsten, you never attend with us." his mother spat into his face, she sounded so evil.
"That's a lie, you were disappointed in me anyway." he smirked before walking up the staircase and into his bedroom, leaving the locks open.
He felt clean. Fresh, like a new person in a new skin. He wasn't sure exactly what event he had experienced that day had triggered him to feel this way, but once he did he would surely become addicted to it.
He connected his phone to his Bluetooth speaker and began to play Dirty Work. He had a CD player but no CD's, he assumed that everybody only listened to music digitally these days until he was proven wrong about an hour ago. He thought about maybe buying some later with the little money he had in his bank account, contemplating actually applying for a part-time job around town, too.
His music wasn't too loud as he began to tidy up his bedroom. Just about nothing was in its right place right now, except for his acoustic guitar, which was always in its case when it wasn't being used; the mess probably contributed to Awsten's sleep deprivation.
He began folding the clothing that was scattered across the floor when he came across the bags of food that he had thrown there earlier that day. He hadn't eaten in almost three days, so he decided to have a few snacks while he tidied up; mostly assorted nuts and dried fruit.
By the time he was able to see most of his floor again, four hours had passed and he had eaten two and a half bags of nuts, and Gracie was being called out to the dinner table. Awsten never ate with the family but tonight he would.
He followed the routine he always did, closing his door behind him and creeping down the stairs, avoiding the weak and creaky pressure points on the old wooden staircase. His parents both seemed confused and annoyed that Awsten had decided to join the family but Gracie gave him an excited smile.
Some days he felt like she hated him; other days, like today, he felt as though she was the only person in the world that cared about him, so he sat down at the table next to her.
Thankfully, Gracie had cut up a fresh garden salad as a side for the other dishes that were being served, so Awsten decided to have a small serving of that. He was already pretty full from the constant snacking he had just participated in, but he was aware that his body needed the nutrients and he wasn't sure when he would feel like looking after himself again.
"I spoke to Rachel Wigington today," Awsten's dad was glaring at him. This was the moment of truth, what did she tell him? "You're fucking lucky, kid."
He sighed with relief. He was fairly close to copping more bruises on his fragile figure today, and he wasn't really in the mood for it right now. "You were right, sir. My behaviour was poor."
He wanted to repair the part of their relationship that was about respect, the part of their relationship that made him want to keep adding locks to his bedroom door.
And his father smiled.
It looked genuine enough for Awsten to not feel completely worthless for once. Now Gracie was talking about the mark she received on a math test, bubbling, clearly proud of herself for getting the highest mark in the class. Awsten was proud of her, and he made sure she knew it, too.
After the meal was over, Awsten decided to take the initiative to wash the dishes, glancing back occasionally to the table to see his parents talking quietly amongst themselves, obviously about him. Gracie grabbed a plate and began to help Awsten wash up.
"You're in a good mood today." She smiled at him.
"So are you." He returned the expression. She was always in a good mood, she always felt how Awsten is feeling right now.
"I miss you, you know. You never do anything with us anymore."
He put the final dish in the drying rack and sighed. "I can't really help it, Gracie. Especially with mum and dad-" he mouthed 'dad', "I get really anxious."
She didn't look sorry for him, just sad, because she knew that his parents were way too hard and put too much pressure on him, all because he was the eldest child. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
YOU ARE READING
Serendipitous (Gawsten)
Fanfiction[COMPLETED] An apathetic boy with colourblindness and too many problems serendipitously meets a boy who may be able to help him feel all of the colours he'd never seen.
