Being mad at someone you care about is a very confusing thing. On a first impulse, Awsten wanted to corrupt Geoff to make him feel awful about everything he did. Once he was bored of that, he just wanted Geoff to love him hard enough to make up for it all.
He was currently driving back to his house through the very light rain that daintily attacked his car. Gracie was asleep in the passenger seat, he decided to let her sleep as long as he could manage to keep her in that state, being very cautious to take a route that would avoid any sudden changes in consistency of the drive and startle her awake.
He tried to keep focused but he was dangerously tired, his body seemed to do weird things to him when it was actually aware of the time and the fact that the sky was fading into light colours that Awsten could not see as the sun stopped cowering behind the mountains.
Every time that Awsten allowed his mind to wonder it would always be attracted straight back to the recent memory in the hospital room. The arguing, the apologies that Awsten couldn't accept, the realisation that Geoff had actually tried to kill himself over the younger boy.
The kiss. That was the one thing that he couldn't keep his thoughts away from, they insisted on repeating every minor detail of it. He felt his chest tighten slightly whenever he thought about it, he wanted that feeling to be from regret but truthfully, it was the same familiar soft that Geoff has always made Awsten feel. That same shade of pink.
It was only an undertone though, he was still, undeniably, very mad at Geoff and it was going to take a lot more than a hate-filled kiss in a hospital room to change that.
By the time they had gotten back to the house, Gracie had started to stir from her sleep, Awsten was thankful because he was pretty sure that he was too weak to carry her inside and up the stairs. He turned off the engine and got out of the car before walking around to Gracie's door and opening it for her.
Her eyes fluttered open as she hugged herself tighter from the cold breeze that washed over her. He helped pull her out of the car before walking inside the house, neither of them said anything to each other before drifting into their own separate bedrooms and immediately falling asleep.
He didn't dream. It was rare that he ever did; when he actually slept, which was also rare. At least he didn't fall a victim to sleep paralysis again or his degrading thoughts, Geoff seemed to be the only thing that managed to keep them away.
He wasn't exactly sure as to what the time was when he got home but it was one in the afternoon by the time that he had woken from his sleep, the sun was flooding brightly through his half-closed blinds that fell over his window.
He pulled part of the blankets over his head in an attempt to stop the light from getting to his eyes, staying like that for only a few minutes before pushing the blankets off and slowly pulling himself out of his bed.
He groaned in displeasure, he just wanted to stay asleep for a little while longer but that would just be impossible with all of the sunlight that was spilling directly into his bedroom, he wished that he would have thought that through earlier in the morning when he had gotten home.
He immediately went over to his window and pulled his blinds shut, not for any other reason than preferring to be in the dark. He opened his wardrobe to find the light pink hoodie that Geoff had given him, he still hadn't washed it, it still smelled very strongly of cigarettes but he didn't care, he wanted to wear it so he did.
He realised that he should probably check on Gracie, he already knew that she had missed a day of school today but he just wanted to see how she was feeling. As he went to open his door he realised that he'd forgotten to close all of his locks when he had come into his room, he was surprised by that, he'd never forgotten them in the past; he was probably just tired.
He knocked gently on her door in the case that she was still asleep although he heard gentle shuffling from inside her bedroom before the door opened, she was already wearing a fresh set of clothes and had a small amount of makeup on, suggesting that she'd already been up for a while.
The good thing about Gracie was that they didn't have to communicate with words, they often just used small gestures to suggest what it was that they were thinking. Gracie gestured for him to come to sit down on her bed, so he did.
She came and sat next to him, "how did you sleep?" She was one of the only people who actually cared how much he slept or ate or looked after himself in general.
"Okay," he nodded, "how are you feeling after, like... everything that happened yesterday?" He still hadn't unblocked Geoff's phone number yet, he wasn't even sure if he ever would; maybe, maybe not.
"I'm okay," her voice sounded small though, she sounded unsure. "It's kind of scary that he could have just... been gone, you know? I've known him my whole life, it just won't settle." Awsten didn't know how to respond so he just looked at her, he understood. "He's back home already, we're going over for dinner with them tomorrow."
He quickly felt his heart drop, he couldn't be around Geoff again, he wasn't ready. "Shit- why? I c-can't..." he trailed off, he wasn't even sure what to say.
He watched as her expression fell as he panicked. "Did you not... work things out with him yesterday? I thought that was the whole point?"
He quickly shook his head no, of Geoff didn't hate him then he certainly did not like him, Awsten had spewed accusations at him for twenty minutes after he tried to kill himself, that probably wasn't the best idea. "Don't worry, it's fine, I-I'll figure it out."
He quickly stood up and left her bedroom, going back to his own and starting to cry.
YOU ARE READING
Serendipitous (Gawsten)
Fanfiction[COMPLETED] An apathetic boy with colourblindness and too many problems serendipitously meets a boy who may be able to help him feel all of the colours he'd never seen.
