He couldn't breathe anymore, his heart was threatening to beat out of his throat as he stared at the words on his phone.
Geoff: Come over.
It made him mad, he'd been ignoring Awsten for thirty-two days and now he was acting as if everything was fine all of a sudden. It was not fine.
Geoff: Please?
He wanted to. He wanted to run back to him, cry to him, tell him how much he'd missed him and how he wanted Geoff to kiss all of his bruises better.
Geoff: I need you.
But he wasn't going to. He wasn't upset about Geoff ignoring him anymore, just confused but he wasn't about to get his hopes up and let his world get torn down again. He couldn't get any worse than he already was and that terrified him.
Are you sure you want to block this contact?
If Geoff actually needed awsten, then he would have contacted him beforehand, at least a text, even just a message through Gracie would have been enough. Awsten had put in an effort every day and never gotten a response, why should he bother?
Yes, I'm sure.
He lay back down on the grass so that he could watch the clouds move past each other in the wind, sucking on the end of his fifth cigarette. He had a new obsession with being outside lately, he usually hated it, there was just something about the gloomy days that recently started to appeal to Awsten.
It was a Wednesday evening, Awsten decided that it would probably be a better idea to get inside before his parents got home. Gracie was here already, she didn't really mind that Awsten smoked, though. He also couldn't sit and watch the sky turn pink anymore, that would make all of the memories come back.
He was met with Gracie cooking as he walked back inside, "are you going to eat with us, tonight?" She almost sounded hopeful, he hadn't done that in a painfully long time. "Fuck, Aws, you smell like cigarettes."
He knew he'd have to cover that up, wash Geoff's hoodie again, shower. "I know... and yeah, uh- I'll think about it." He hurried up to his bedroom before quickly stripping from his clothes and turning on the water of his shower.
He used a sponge to scrub at his skin until his arms were bleeding, watching the blood dilute in the lukewarm water running down his body. He didn't stand under the water for too long before he shut off the cold water tap and let his skin burn under the heat that was spilling across him, only for a few seconds until he couldn't take the pain any longer.
He hadn't been able to shower without burning himself in a long time, it was part of his routine, he just had to do it. He put on some clean black jeans before taking a light blue hoodie and throwing that on, it fit him perfectly, he already missed how big Geoff's sweater was on him.
Yeah, he was going to eat with his family tonight. That was definitely going to end badly, he couldn't even imagine it going well but Gracie wanted him to be there and if he was being honest, he'd really missed her lately.
He'd heard them walk in, they weren't arguing this time, that gave him a little more confidence to go out and see them, he'd forgotten certain features of their faces, he hadn't seen them in a while; at least that meant he hadn't been beaten in a few days.
He hadn't closed his locks, not like it mattered, he hesitated before turning his door handle and descended down the staircase without thinking, if he had thought then he would have been to scared to leave his bedroom.
He sighed with relief as he saw Gracie laying plates on the table, that meant that he wouldn't have to stay down here for too long. She noticed him and immediately started to smile, putting an extra plate down as opposed to their usual three. "You're eating with us?" She sounded extra hopeful, waiting for confirmation; Awsten nodded.
He swore that he heard his parents groan slightly as he sat down, he only laughed it off to himself. Gracie came to sit next to him, trying to give him a half-hug, he loved her so much.
He didn't really say or eat much, he just listened to the light conversation that was fluttering around the table and occasional arguments; he just pretended like he wasn't there as he pushed the food around his plate with his fork.
Sarah had tried calling Gracie, to which she quickly declined, their parents hated phones at the dinner table. The fourth time that Sarah had tried to call, though, Gracie had quickly excused herself and went into the next room.
Now, Awsten was stuck, alone with his parents who he was pretty sure hated him. They still pretended like he didn't exist, he wasn't sure whether that was good or bad; it hurt but he really didn't want to deal with them alone.
Everything quickly ceased. "H-holy fuck... Yes- I'm coming... it will be okay." Awsten had never heard Gracie swear before, apparently his parents hadn't either, seeing as though they quickly perked up in anger. "I'll be there soon."
She sounded upset, in shock, what the fuck were they talking about? He noticed how pale she was when she finally came back into the room, shaking, nearly crying. "What's wrong?"
"Aws... I need you to drive..." she sounded desperate.
"Why?"
"Because Geoff just tried to kill himself."
YOU ARE READING
Serendipitous (Gawsten)
Fanfiction[COMPLETED] An apathetic boy with colourblindness and too many problems serendipitously meets a boy who may be able to help him feel all of the colours he'd never seen.
