Serendipitous (Gawsten)

34. Sensitive

Awsten had never considered himself to be an aggressive person but fuck, he was mad.

He was staring at Geoff as he waited for some sort of retaliation, some sort of excuse or plea but he didn't get one, the older boy just simply nodded as he tried to dry the tear tracks on his cheeks.

"I don't understand why you wouldn't just tell me about her." Awsten's voice had grown significantly quieter, he didn't want to waste what little energy he had left on trying to argue with the older boy. "I'm not even mad because you cheated. Yeah, it's a really fucking shitty thing to do and I know that she must be a lot more hurt than I am, I don't think I could ever understand why anyone would ever want to cheat."

"Awst-"

"Stop- Fucking listen. I'm pissed, Geoff. I'm pissed because I trusted you, I fucking let myself trust you and you threw me away. You ignored me, every single fucking time that I needed you, then you go and do this to yourself, to me, the one time that you apparently needed me. Fuck, I thought it was supposed to be me lying in that hospital bed, except I would have made sure it worked."

Geoff stayed silent, Awsten was glad he did though, he didn't think he'd be able to handle hearing Geoff broken, it was hard enough to be looking at him like this.

"I hope you looked after her, you know? I really hope that you were just fucking honest with her, told her what happened, let her down easily. I can't exactly say that's what I expected you to do, though, can I? How am I supposed to believe that maybe you didn't just throw her away, too? I will not crawl back to you. You don't get to sit back and watch me beg for you to let me come back."

"S-Sarah told her," Geoff's voice broke from how raw it was, Awsten felt like he wanted to throw up from guilt, he had just verified the reasons as to why Geoff should have tried to kill himself. "I c-couldn't do it s-so Sarah did a-and Chloe said that we could work it out but I s-said I didn't want to because- fuck, I don't know. She was t-too good for me, Aws. So are you."

Geoff was only stuttering because small sobs were managing their way out from his voice, Awsten had never seen him this upset before, not even on the day that they had been caught and he'd fought with Sarah.

"I just wish it would have worked."

"Please, don't say that- what the fuck?"

Geoff shifted uncomfortably, he looked like he was in pain, for whatever reason. "I can't talk to Chloe anymore, my p-parents look at me like I'm fucking broken- hell, Sarah won't even do that! She's been ignoring me ever s-since the day she caught us together and fuck, now you're leaving me, too."

"I am not the one who destroyed whatever the fuck it was that we had. I get that you were trying to make things right with her or whatever but you still could have fucking said something to me."

They were both a mess, they were both absolutely exhausted. It was nearly five in the morning, the sun would start to come up soon, Awsten wanted to be home before that. "Why did you come?" Geoff's words were almost inaudible.

"For Gracie."

"No, I don't think you did." He was catching on.

"Fuck you."

And now Geoff was smiling, which only pissed Awsten off more; to say that he was very confused was an understatement. "Aww. Sensitive topic?" Was Geoff seriously trying to provoke him right now?

Awsten stormed over to Geoff and grabbed a fistful of his shirt; he wasn't exactly intimidating but he was getting seriously pissed off with him. "You're lucky that you're already in a fucking hospital bed or I would totally beat the shit out of you."

"Attempt to," Geoff corrected the boy, why was he so cheerful and playful all of a sudden? It was probably just from all of the medication that was being pumped into his blood from the IV drips that were currently connected to the inside of his arms. That would make sense.

He let go of the material balled up in his fist and let it settle back into place across Geoff's chest, lifting his eyes to meet Geoff's, glaring deeply into them and fuck, they were close. "Fuck you."

He already knew what was about to happen before it even happened, he didn't try to resist while everything was starting to fall back into place; partly because he was confused as fuck but mainly because he didn't want it to stop.

He almost immediately melted into the warmth and the soft that spread throughout his body as Geoff pulled Awsten down by the back of his neck as he fluently touched their lips together, both of them quickly starting to form a rhythm as Awsten began to grow more hostile with each movement.

Fuck, he wasn't supposed to be doing this, he didn't even want to be kissing Geoff right now; he was just very sexually frustrated.

He disconnected their lips to smile mockingly at Geoff as they both noticed the once-constant rhythm of Geoff's heart monitor noticeably transition to a much sharper pace. "Are you blushing?" It was Awsten's turn to make fun of Geoff now, he'd never seen him this vulnerable before.

Geoff rolled his eyes at the boy and nearly shoved his upright middle-finger into Awsten's cheek in an attempt to make a point of not being entirely impressed or confident by Awsten's little acknowledgement. 

Awsten could only giggle a little bit before swatting Geoff's hand away from himself, "aww. Sensitive topic?" he mimicked Geoff's words back to him before he stopped leaning on the edge of the hospital bed and properly stood up.

"Fuck you, Knight."

"Fuck you, too."