Love Lies

Chapter 19

*Brittany's POV*

"I really needed a girls night!" Olivia said beaming.

"Yeah me too!" I laughed. I felt so happy to be back with them. They were like my sisters.

"So, I'm excited for Taylor's party!" Steph said excitingly.

"AND my party!" Olivia said winking.

"Yeah we better get back. We kinda got carried away, didn't we?" I said giggling.

"I'm not surprised if its started without us." Steph laughed.

We were walking back to our dorms and it was now really dark outside. The only thing guiding us home is the glowing yellow lights along the walk ways. It was a little chilly and we were all bundled up together and walking and talking about the party tonight. We were almost to the dorm when I looked to my right and saw Amanda's grave. It was located on the campus for respectful reasons. I brought a few roses and laid them there every few nights, along with the girls. There were lots of flowers and gifts surrounding it. I had put a letter there as well. I didn't let anyone read it though. I would never even read it myself. I just wrote it for Amanda, and I put it there as if she was the only one who would see it.

"Hey guys... I actually think I'm just going to skip the party. I'll uh, see you later?" I said and gave them a little wave as they gave me "aww's" and Olivia added "Party pooper". I just stuck my tongue out at them. I then turned around and walked through the grass and saw her grave approaching.

Once I reached it, I just looked around at the flowers and gifts surrounding the grave. I bit my bottom lip to keep it from quivering. I kneed down and sat in front of it, just staring at it. Before I knew it, I let my thoughts turn into emotions, and my emotions turn into actions, spilling out slowly. The hot tears ran down my face as I sniffled to myself.

I then spotted my note, all folded up and everything right next to her burial. I promised myself not to touch it, but right now, I was having so many emotions, I needed to read it again.

I stretched my arm out in front of me and finally reached the note. I pulled back and brought the note to my lap. I didn't touch it, I just let it sit there for a minute as I was staring at it. The tears were falling and hitting my thighs as I looked down at it. My breathing was starting to get uneven, due to my crying becoming harder and harder. I slowly reached for the note and started to unfold it. Once it was completely unfolded, I brought it up closer to my face. It was a little difficult to read due to the darkness.

I started to read it when I heard footsteps behind me.

"Brittany...?" I heard a deep voice call out. I dropped the note back into my lap and brought my hands to my face. I started sobbing loudly as the man approached me from behind. I wasn't scared though, partly because I already recognized who it was. Harry.

He kneeled down beside me and just sat there. He was smart enough to know I was in an emotional state and didn't want to talk to him out of all people. I could easily get up. Easily walk away, not excepting his sympathy. But I didn't want to. I didn't want to stop crying.

I knew Harry was on his way to the party, and that's how he saw me. But why did he stop?

"Why do you care?" I whimpered out.

He didn't answer. He was just sat staring at Amanda's grave. I knew he heard me though. He just didn't want to say the wrong thing.

"Why are you here? It's not like you know what it feels like to loose your best friend. It's not like you know how I feel. So why are you here with me acting like you do!?" I yelled about to him. My emotions were getting the best of me. I was mad. Not mad at him. I was just mad.

Again he didn't respond. Just was sat staring.

I started crying harder and brought my hands to my face again. I was taking deep breaths, but I wasn't calming down.

I took my hands out of my face and my face turned into an ashamed one. Why Amanda? Why her? Who is sick enough to end someone's life. They don't get another one. That was it. It's gone. Zippo. No more life. She won't just magically come back some day and everything will be back to being ok. Because it won't. It won't be ok. It never will be ok again.

"ITS NOT OK" I cried out.

One small tear slid down Harry's face.

Then, I let the anger get the best of me. I took the note that I was about to read and started ripping it up forcefully. I stood up and started ripping it up harder, as I was crying even more. Harry slowly stood up and put his hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off, and grabbed all the roses I left for her. I was ripping the off the pedals hard and fast as I was crying loudly. I started gripping the rose stem tightly and the thorns were digging into my skin. It hurt badly and I let out a screech as I continued to rip off the rose pedals.

It was getting so out of hand, that Harry did something I didn't expect him to do. He put his arms around me from behind as I kicked and cried. He started walking away from the grave, dragging me with him and I finally stopped trying to escape from him and dropped the roses on the ground.

He dragged me back a few more feet and I instantly felt tired again. Harry slowly stopped and started to loosen his grip ahold of me. Then without thinking, I whipped around and hugged him. It's not that I was hugging him as a thank you, or as I love you. It was just because I needed someone to hug. It seems like I haven't hugged anyone in a while. I placed the side of my head on his chest and closed my eyes, finally calming down. He didn't know how to react at first, but then he hesitantly hugged me back.

It was nice. Just being held in his arms. I needed this. I needed to let all that out, and most importantly, I needed someone to make me feel better. Even though he never said a word, he said everything. I was having a whole new perspective on Harry. I liked this Harry a lot better than the usual one. I'm not saying I like him, I just like this moment. We stayed in each others arms for about 8 minutes straight, not saying a word at all. And we didn't need to.

Finally, I had settled, and I decided this would a good time to pull away. I slowly broke free from him and now it felt weird not having someone to hang onto. I just looked at him and gave him the tiniest smile. He smiled back at me and i just stared at him. I wanted to apologize about how I was acting, because that is very out of the ordinary for me. But I decided not to say anything.

There was a pause and then I finally decided to speak. "Uh, are you going to the party?" I spoke quietly, looking down.

"I had a better time here." he said smiling a little.

"Oh shut up. I know I'm a freak sorry... I normally don't-" I started to say but he cut me off.

"Brittany... " he said, indicating it was okay, and suddenly reaching for my hand. My head shot up and I realized what was going on.

No Brittany. You are not falling for Harry. Stop. Seriously. Remember, he's the cocky jerk.

I took my hand away from his and ran it through my hair.

"I uh, should go. Bye Harry." I said and gave him a sight grin and scurried back to my dorm.

What just happened?

As I approached my dorm, I could already hear the music from Taylor and Olivia's and decided I should just sleep. And that's exactly what I did.