I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend | Nikki Sixx

Chapter 18.

Carly's POV

I woke up to Nikki wrapping his arm around me. "Good morning, sleeping beauty." I heard his raspy voice. I opened my eyes and I was met with Nikki's green eyes. I smiled. "Good morning," I replied. He smiled. "How did you sleep?" "Amazingly." I said, he chuckled. "Hm, I wonder why that is." He said. "Oh, shut up." I said. I sat up and stretched. "Was I better than Vince yet again?" I heard him say. "Shut. Up." I said, laughing. He chuckled. I grabbed a shirt from the ground and slipped it over my body. "That's mine," Nikki said. "I don't care." I said and stood up.

Nikki did the same and grabbed a pair of sweatpants off the floor and slipped them on. "That was some night, hm?" He smirked. I blushed. "Yeah, it was." I replied. "How many times was it?" I asked. He chuckled. "You don't remember?" He asked. "They all kinda mixed together," I said, my face flushing more. He walked over to me. "5 times," he said and walked out into the living room. "Oh my god, 5?!" I exclaimed, walking after him. His laughter filled the room. "Yep!" He called over his shoulder.

"Oh my god," I said as I walked over and sat on the couch. "Ecstasy is a love and party drug, small one." He said and sat next to me, turning the TV on. He handed me a beer. "This isn't really something people drink in the morning." I said, opening mine. "It's what we drink." He said, smiling. I took a sip of mine.

"We already have another gig for tonight," Nikki spoke up after us just sitting and watching TV in silence for a while. "Oh, that's exciting!" I said. "You gonna be there?" He asked. "Of course! I'm your biggest fan!" I said, smiling. He smiled. "I know, you're my only fan, too." He said and took a sip of his beer. I looked back at the TV and tried to pay attention to what was on. But, I can't. I can't stop thinking about last night. We said I love you to one another. Does this make us something? Is Nikki thinking about it at all? Am I looking too much into it?

"Carly? You're spacing out on me again," I heard Nikki. I looked over at him. "Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind." I said and took a sip of my beer. "What's going on in that mind of yours?" Nikki asked, turning his body so he was facing me more. "I just," I started. "Nah, it's stupid." I mumbled. "Nothing you think is stupid, what is it?" He asked. I smiled a little. "Well, about last night, honestly." I replied. He smirked. "I was that good that you can't even get it off your mind?" He said. I rolled my eyes. "Shush," I said, smile on my face. He chuckled. "No, but seriously, what's going on?" He asked.

I took a deep breath. "I am just thinking about all the events that happened last night, all the stuff we said to one another, and I'm just wondering, what does this make us?" I asked, avoiding looking at him. "What do you mean?" He asked. "Are we more than friends now?" I asked, still not looking at him. Nikki went silent. I felt my heart beating out of my chest. "Well, I–" Nikki finally spoke but, cut himself off. I trailed my finger around the top of my beer bottle, still awaiting his response. I'm hoping he says that we are, every part of me is just screaming, hoping that he feels the same way I do.

"I don't know," he finally said. "I mean, it was a drug and alcohol filled night." He said. I felt my face drop, but I quickly changed it so, he doesn't see that I'm disappointed. "Like, what are we?" I asked. "We're Carly and Nikki, what do you mean?" He asked. I sighed a little to myself. "I mean, are we together now?" I asked, quietly. No answer right away, again. I heard Nikki breathe out. "Carls, we're best friends," he began. I know where this is going. "All we are is best friends." He said. "We just had a little too much ecstasy last night and got carried away with trying to make Vince jealous," he said. "It wasn't about making Vince jealous anymore, I never cared about that." I said.

"What?" He asked. "I liked doing that stuff with you, and doing that stuff with you and saying it was to make Vince jealous was just an excuse so I can be close to you like that." I explained. "I don't care about Vince," I said. "I–I," I stumbled with my words. "I love you," was about to come out of my mouth but, the words got caught in my throat, I couldn't say it. "What?" He asked. I felt tears burn my eyes. "Nothing, I'm just being stupid, it was just the ecstasy and alcohol," I lied. I haven't looked at Nikki this whole time, I don't want to. I think my heart will completely shatter if I do, I love him so much and he doesn't want anything to do with me like that.

I want to be his girlfriend so fucking badly, I want him to hold me, I want us to say "I love you," to one another, I want to kiss him all the time, I want to fall asleep in his arms, I want to wake up every morning and see his beautiful green eyes, I want to hear him talk every single day of my life. I love him.

"Oh my god, Carly, why're you crying?" I heard Nikki ask, breaking me from my thoughts. I raised my hand up and touched my cheeks and they were damp with tears. I didn't even know I was crying, I guess this is making me more upset than I'd like to admit. This is all tearing my apart. "Oh, I, um," I tried to find a good excuse to make as to why I'm crying. "I–I don't know," I said, I sniffled and put my beer down. "You're worrying me, Carly." He said. I finally looked over at him, I felt more tears run down my face when I did. "I need to go to my room, I just need to be alone." I said, wiping my tears.

"Did I say something to upset you?" He asked, putting his hand on my shoulder. I felt more tears run down my face. "No, no," I lied. It's everything you said, everything. I'm in love with you and you want nothing to do with me. "I just am having a weird morning, I think I'm going to go back to sleep." I said, standing. "Carls," Nikki said, sadly. "Talk to me, I don't like that you're upset." He said. "I'm fine, I just need to go into my room," I said, feeling like I'm on the verge of breaking down completely.

Before Nikki could say anything more, I quickly walked into my room and shut the door. I walked over and sat down in front of my bed, I put my head down and more tears traveled down my face. This is hell, why the fuck did I have to fall in love? This is ruining everything, it's starting to hurt just being in the same room as him, I don't like this. I hate this, actually. I want things to go back to how they used to be. I don't want to love him like this anymore. I want it all to stop.

(A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Please vote, it's greatly appreciated! Feedback is always welcome! Okay bye👻)