I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend | Nikki Sixx

Chapter 52.

Carly's POV

I walked passed Nikki and into my room, slamming the door shut. It's been a week since Nikki and I have broken up and we haven't said one word to each other. I miss him more than words can describe, but I have blow and vodka to deal with that, so it's all good. But, anytime I'm sober, he's all I think about. I can't stand being sober, I'm always high and drunk, I've been going to the extremes everyday, I just want to forget but, I know that's impossible since I live with him.

I've also been going to strip clubs every night with Tommy. I've been hooking up with women every single night, it's been fun. I haven't been with a woman in a really long time. One night, I actually had a threesome with Tommy and some chick we met, which will never be told to another person. I shook my head. Stop thinking about things so much, Carly. Just get ready to go out tonight. I walked over to my closet and picked out a short black dress that has a low cut. I quickly stripped and put a push up bra on. I put the dress on and looked at myself in the mirror. I smiled. I look hot.

I slipped some black high heels on and did my usual makeup and teased my hair before walking out of my room. I grabbed my car keys and started to walk to the front door. "Where are you off to?" I heard Nikki's voice. I turned around and he was standing in the living room, sweatpants on and no shirt. God, he's hot– Shut up, Carly. "Wow, so he speaks." I commented. He rolled his eyes. "Just answer my question," he said. "Why is it your concern?" I asked. "Because you come back early hours in the morning stumbling around, high out of your mind and piss drunk." He said.

"It's not your business," I shrugged. "This is my house, it is my business when you're out all night and wake me up early in the morning." He said. "So, this is your house now? I thought it was ours," I said, crossing my arms. "It is my house," he said. "I pay for a lot of the bills, most of them actually." I replied. "Bullshit, all you do is whore around L.A. anymore." He spat. My eyes went wide. "Excuse me?" I said, walking over to him. "What did you fucking say?" I asked. "All you do is whore around L.A." He said, leaning close to my face. "Well, I must've learned it from you." I said, smiling.

"You really piss me off lately, you know that?" He asked. "Feelings mutual, babe." I said and turned on my heel to walk out the door. I felt Nikki roughly grab my arm. "Nikki!" I exclaimed. "You're not fucking leaving," he said, I looked at him and his eyes aren't the bright green anymore, they're dark and anger is in his eyes. "Nikki, let me go." I said, now scared. "No, I said you aren't leaving, I'm sick and tired of you leaving and coming back whenever you fucking want." He said, tightening his grip on my arm and pulling me closer to him.

Flashbacks of when my Dad did this to me flooded my head. I felt my whole body start to shake, my throat felt as if it was closing and my mouth got dry. "P-Please let me go." I whispered, unable to talk any louder. "Are you going to leave?" He asked. I shakily shook my head. He gave me a sickly smile. "Good," he said and shoved me away, I stumbled over my heels and fell to the ground. I looked up at him and he lifted his hand up. I fell flat on the ground and covered my head with my arms.

"Please don't, Dad!" I cried. "What?" Nikki asked. I didn't answer, I just stayed there, waiting for him to hit me. "Carly, did you just call me Dad?" I heard him say. I slowly looked up at him. The anger in his eyes isn't there anymore. "Did I?" I asked, my voice still shaking. "Did I scare you like your Dad did?" He asked. "Did I really scare you so badly that I reminded you of your Dad?" He asked. "I-I," I started. "It just reminded me so much of what my Dad did to me when I was a kid," I cried. Nikki backed away from me. "Nikki?" I asked.

I sat up and looked at him, he backed up so much that he hit the wall behind him. "I-I can't believe I did that," he said, "Nikki, you were angry–" "No! I grabbed you just like your Dad used to grab you!" He exclaimed. "I'm a monster, I made you scared of me, I made you think of your Dad, that's how horrible I was!" He said, tears started to stream down his cheeks. I stood up. "Nikki," I said and started to walk over to him. "Don't come near me, I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have." He said, putting his hand out. "You won't, Nikki, please calm down." I said. He shook his head. "I know I've been a dick to you, but this is a whole new level of it." He said.

He walked away from me and over to his keys. He slipped his shoes on. "No, Nikki don't go." I said and quickly walked over to him. "It was an accident." He said. "Stop!" He yelled. "Stop standing up for me when I treat you like shit!" He yelled. I felt tears fill my eyes. "I-I can't help it, Nikki." I said. "I love you." I said. He looked down. "I wish you didn't, because I don't deserve it." He said. "I know you're a good person under all of this, I know you. I know you better than anyone, Nikki." I said. "You've has such a rough life, I know that's why you act like this sometimes, deep down you're a good person and you know it." I said.

He opened the front door. "I'm not a good person, I never have been and I never will be." He said and walked out the door and slammed it shut. I started to walk back into my room when I fell to my knees. I covered my face with my hands and cried. What the fuck was that? Nikki fucking grabbed me and shoved me to the ground. Never in my life did I ever think he would put his hands on me. And I still defended him. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with him? What is going on?

I just want some answers, I want to know why I'm not enough for him, I want to know why he did this to me, I want to know why the fuck my life is like this. I took a deep breath and moved my hands from my face, I sniffled and looked at my arm where Nikki grabbed me, it's already leaving a mark. I shook my head and stood up, I kicked my heels off and started to walk to my room, I stopped when I saw Nikki's room. I walked in and over to his drawer where he keeps his stash at. I found some of his smack and bit my lower lip.

Do I really want to do this again? I didn't like it the first time. I looked back at my arm and then immediately grabbed some of his smack. He has so much, he won't even know it's gone. I walked into my room and slammed the door shut. I looked at what I got in my hands. I have enough for a few days and I already made the decision to use it all tonight.

(A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Please vote, it's greatly appreciated! Feedback is always welcome! Okay bye👻)