I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend | Nikki Sixx

Chapter 40.

Carly's POV

"Care to tell me what the fuck that was last night?" Nikki asked me as I walked into my room. "Vince and I messed around, it's no big deal." I said. "When are you gonna be done with him?" He asked trailing behind me. "We are done, we just had some fun last night, just like you did." I said, turning to face him. "What's the suppose to mean?" He asked. "Every time we go to the bar, you're all over another woman, I do it once and it's a big deal?" I asked. "It was with Vince!" He exclaimed. "What's the big deal if I was with Vince?" I asked. "Because it is!" He replied. "That's not an answer," I mumbled and shook my head.

"You're going to get attached to him again!" He exclaimed. "I was never attached to him in the first place!" I replied. "What do you mean? You dated him, for God's sake!" He exclaimed. "I only dated him because–" I cut myself off. I can't believe I almost let that slip. How would he react if I literally said. "Oh yeah, I only dated Vince to fill the loneliness I had because you don't wanna date me," I can't say that to him.

"Because what??" He asked, stepping closer to me. I felt words getting caught in my throat. "I-I–" I couldn't get it out. I can't get anything out. It's very rare that I'm speechless but, I am now. "What, Carly?" He asked, looking down at me. "I can't say it," I whispered. "Why? Why do you make these things so difficult? You can say anything to me, just try and help me understand!" He exclaimed. I stepped away from him and shook my head. "You'll tell me to leave again," I said as tears filled my eyes. "I'll ruin everything again." My voice cracked as the tears filling my eyes blurred my vision. "What?" He asked. I blinked my eyes and the tears came traveling down my cheeks.

"Carly, that wouldn't happen. You know I regret doing that, I would never tell you to leave ever again." He said, his face softened. He no longer had a look of anger on his face. "I'm just, I'm confused." I cried. "I don't know how to say these emotions out loud, I don't know how to deal with them, I just don't know." I cried. "Carly, you have to help me out. I'm here for you, you just gotta tell me what's going on." He said, walking over to me. I backed up again. "Are you scared of me?" He asked, he looks hurt that I'm stepping further and further away from me.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I'm scared of the feelings I have for you, I'm scared that they'll just get stronger." I said, wiping the tears off my cheeks. "What? Carly, you're confusing me." He said. "I have to take a breather." I replied and walked passed him. I grabbed the keys and put my leather jacket on. "Carly, don't leave. We can talk about this," I heard Nikki from behind me. "I'll be back before you go to bed, I promise. I'm just going for a drive." I said and walked out the door. I walked to the car and got inside. I quickly drove away and started to drive to someone's house I always go to whenever things get too much to handle.

I pulled up at Mick's house and got out. I quickly walked up and knocked on his door. He opened the door. "Oh, hey, Carlotta, what's up?" He asked. "I don't know, honestly." I said, frantically. He could see I was really shaken up and he stepped aside and let me in. "Are you alright?" He asked as he shut the door. "I-I don't know." I said. "The feelings I have for Nikki are getting stronger and stronger everyday, I don't know what to do." I said, sitting on his couch. He sat down next to me and wrapped an arm around me. "I know you're gonna hate to hear this, but I think the reason why it's eating you up like this is because you haven't told him, you need to tell him." He said. I tensed up. "He'll hate me," I replied.

"Nikki loves you, you're his best friend. He could never hate you, Carlotta." He said. Mick always calls me by my first real name. I don't mind, though. I think it's sweet. "I'm just scared." I admitted. "You? Scared? You're one of the most badass women I have ever met! How can you be scared?" He asked. I smiled a little. "Nikki is just really important to me, I cherish his friendship, I don't want anything to ruin it." I replied. "It won't ruin it, what's the worst that could happen? He doesn't feel the same way? Okay, he still loves you as a best friend and that's all that matters, right?" He asked. I nodded. "Yeah, you're right." I sighed.

"I know I am," he said. I laughed a little. "Thanks, Mick." I said and hugged him. He hugged me back. "Don't mention it, now get back there and profess your undying love for him." He said as he let me go. I laughed. "Okay, Mick." I said, standing up. We said our goodbyes and I started to drive back to our house. Am I really going to do this? I have no clue, I know Mick is right. The reason why I'm breaking down over this is because all of the boys know except Nikki, the only person who should know. But, I just can't get myself to say it to him. Anytime I'm right in front of him, I just choke up.

I don't know what to do.

(A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Please vote, it's greatly appreciated! Feedback is always welcome! Okay bye👻)