I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend | Nikki Sixx

Chapter 51.

Nikki's POV

It's been a few weeks since the handcuffs and Carly and I have agreed to stop with the war, for good reason. Tommy didn't come until the evening to uncuff us. Carly and I have been, I guess dating for about a month now. I can tell it's making her really happy, it's like she floats around the house. Seeing her like that makes me smile, but there's one issue.

I'm not good at commitment, I don't like being tied down to one person. I don't know how to break it to Carly, I know she really loves me. I love her, too. I know I do, I've never felt this way for another person. Every relationship I've ever been in, I have never been 100% loyal, I know it makes me a dick but, I can't help it. I love women and I want to experience a lot of them. It's just how I am, I hope one day it changes.

I walked over to Carly sitting in her room, she's sitting on the floor of her room as always, not in the chair by her desk, not on her bed, the floor. I smiled as I watched her roll a joint, she's perfect. That's why she can't be with me, we tried and I know if we go on for any longer, I will destroy her completely. "Hey, Starry Eyes." I said. She turned her head and her smile lit up the entire room. "Hi, babe." She said and turned back to her joint. I walked in and sat down next to her. "I want to talk to you about something, something serious." I said. She put the joint down and turned to look at me.

"What is it?" She asked, smiling at me. It breaks my heart that that smile will be gone soon. "Well, it's about this whole dating thing," I started. Her smile got bigger. "What about it?" She asked. "No, uh, it's not good news." I said. Her smile faded away. "No," she said. "No, no, no." She said and stood up. "Carly," I started. "No." She said. "You don't even know what I'm going to say," I said, standing up with her. "Yes I do, you're breaking up with me." She said. I stayed silent. "No," she said, her voice shaking. I looked over at her and she has tears in her eyes. "What did I do wrong?" She asked. "Nothing, it's not you. It's me." I said. "That's what they all say," she said, quietly.

"Carly, you know I'm not a commitment kinda guy." I said. She shook her head. "Stop talking," she said and the tears ran down her cheeks. I felt my heart break. I hate seeing her cry, I hate seeing it even more knowing I'm the one who caused it. "Carly–" "Stop," she cut me off. "Things were going so well, why am I not enough for you?" She asked, looking down. "That's not it, you know that." I said. "How am I suppose to know that? Just admit it, I'm not enough for you. I don't make you happy the way you make me happy, stop lying to me." She cried. "Please, don't cry." I said. "I'm allowed to cry when the only guy I've ever loved breaks my heart," she replied. Ouch, that one really hurt.

"Carly–" "I mean it, stop talking to me." She said and started to walk out of her room. "Don't follow me!" She called after her. I sighed and looked down at my feet. I heard the front door open and slam shut. And now, I made her leave. I quickly ran out of the room and opened the front door to see her car drive away. I felt my heartbeat pick up, ever since she left for two years, I'm always scared that after we have an argument that she isn't coming back. I know that the incident when she left for two years was my fault, but I still get scared.

I slammed the door shut and walked into our house again. It always so lonely when she's not here. She really is like my other half, she's basically the female version of me. We complete one another, I already feel like I made a mistake. It was either I break things off, or I would've ended up cheating on her again and she doesn't deserve that.

—

Night came and Carly still isn't back, I tuned my bass some and started to play a little. I'm used to Carly always being by my side. We've always been by each other, no matter where we are or what we're doing, she's always next to me. I really don't deserve someone as amazing as Carly. She's too good to me and I'm such a dick to her.

I heard the front door open and I put my bass to the side and got out of my bed and walked out. I saw Carly and some girl making out. My eyes went wide. I always fucking forget that she's bisexual, I've never actually seen Carly with a woman before. She's actually the dominant one, which is weird. She broke the kiss and looked over. "Do you mind?" She asked. I felt my face flush. "I, uh, sorry." I stumbled through my words and quickly walked back into my room and shut the door.

What the fuck was that? She usually just goes and fucks Vince when he have issues, not a random person. She's never fully done with Vince, I don't know what goes through her head when she's with him, it's like they always have a connection and it pisses me off. I know they'll probably start messing around again and I don't know how to handle that, but I brought this on myself. I need to get my shit together.

(A/N: Hey loves! So, I'm getting kinda stuck with ideas again, ugh. If any of you have any ideas for this story, please let me know! I will credit it you if I decide to use it! Until I get an idea or someone suggests something, idk when I'll next update but, thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Please vote, it's greatly appreciated! Feedback is always welcome! Okay bye👻)