I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend | Nikki Sixx

Chapter 42.

Carly's POV

I laid in my bed with The Beatles playing in the background. I felt the tears streaming down my face and I angrily wiped them away. These aren't sad tears, they're angry and confused tears. I'm getting so sick and tired of Nikki going back and forth. I sighed and turned over and stared at my wall. I caught glimpse of the pictures I put up on my wall. There's a picture of Tommy and I, Tommy and Vince, Vince and I kissing, Mick and I taking shots and the rest are of either Nikki and I or the pictures I took of him.

Almost instantly, the song In My Life came on. The tears that were streaming down my face went from angry tears to sad tears. I sniffled and covered my head with my blankets. Why can't he just make up his mind? Why can't he just be my boyfriend? Why is this all so fucking difficult?

I heard a knocking on my door. "Carly?" I heard Nikki's weak voice from behind the door. I removed the blanket from my head. "What?" I asked. "Could I come in?" He asked. "Sure," I said and put the blanket over my head again. I heard the door open and shut again. I felt the bed dip down. "Can we please talk?" I heard him say. I removed the blanket from my head again and looked over at Nikki. "Nikki, were you crying?" I asked, sitting up. "It's nothing," he said, shaking his head. "No, why were you crying?" I asked.

"I'm a fucking idiot," he said, looking away from me. I looked down at his hands. "Nikki, your knuckle!" I exclaimed, taking his hand in mine. "What did you do?" I asked, looking up at him. "That's not important," he said. I took my other hand and tilted his head up to look at me. "What did you do?" "I punched a hole in the wall, I'm sure I'll get the bill for the repairs in the mail soon." He said. "I don't understand," I said. "Carly, I fucked up, I fucked everything up." He said. "No you didn't–" "Yes, I did! Lately, all I seem to do is make you cry, I can't stand seeing you cry." He said.

"I'm just going through a lot," I said. "Yeah, because of me. Because you're in love with me and I've been too dumb to realize it." He said. I looked away. "Nikki–" "No, let me talk. Carly, I love you. Not just as a best friend, I love you so much." He said. I let go of his hand and face and looked up at him. "What?" I asked. "I've always loved you, I fell in love with you when I was 18." He said. "I just realized it when you left for two years," he said. "Yeah, right." I said, not believing him. "Why do you think I looked for you for those two years?" He asked. "Cause we're best friends." I replied. "We've been more than that our entire time together." He said.

"We've always been on the line of friendship and relationship for years now, I'm just scared." He said. "You scared?" I asked. "Yes!" He exclaimed. "Carly, you're absolutely perfect in my eyes. You. Are. Perfect. Everything you do is perfect, I would ruin you." He said. "You wouldn't ruin me, Nikki." I said. "Yes I would! You don't want to be with someone like me," he said, shaking his head. "Yes I do, I love you!" I exclaimed. "You can't be with someone like me, Carly." He said. I felt more tears run down my cheeks.

"What was the point in all of this?" I cried. "You telling me you love me and then right after saying you can't date me?" I said, crying harder. "I didn't mean to make you cry," he said. "Well, you did. Nikki, I have loved you since I laid my eyes on you and you're telling me that I can't be with someone like you? What's that even suppose to mean?" I asked. "I'm destructive, I would destroy you and you know it." He said. I shook my head and sniffled. "Just, get out." I whispered. "No, don't tell me to leave, please." He said, I looked up at him and he has tears in his eyes.

"I can't look at you right now, it hurts too much." I said and looked away. He sighed and slowly got up and started to walk towards my bedroom door. "What does this mean for our friendship?" He asked. "I don't want to lose that," he added on. "We'll just have to work through this, I guess." I said. "Okay," he said. He walked to my door and opened it. "Goodnight, I love you, Carly." He said. I looked up at him, he has a single tear on his cheek.

"Goodnight, Nikki. I love you." I replied. He gave me a sad smile and walked out, shutting the door behind him. I lost it as soon as the door shut. My whole body shook with my sobs, I tried being quiet but, it was pointless. My sobs filled my entire room. I waited for so long to hear that Nikki felt the same for me and he follows with he can't be with me? What the fuck is this? Why does everything have to be so fucking complicated in my life?

(A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Please vote, it's greatly appreciated! Feedback is always welcome! Okay bye👻)