Wounded Hearts (A Demi Lovato Fan Fiction)

Chapter 79

-Demi's POV-

Adeena had been in her room for a while now. I was worried about her, and so I decided to check up on her. I got up from my seat on the couch and headed up to my room first to slip into something more comfortable.

I wore my sweatpants, pulled my hair up into a messy bun and tidied up the room just a bit.

When I got to Addy's room, I knocked. For the first knock, I didn't get a response. I knocked again and still,  nothing.

Maybe she was asleep? I thought.

"I'm coming in Addy" I said, and opened the door. She wasn't there. I furrowed my brows in confusion, and walked over to the passage that was which led to the washroom.

I gasped as I saw the sight in front of me. A chill ran down my spine.

-Addy's POV-

I could feel someone shaking me gently, and then drops of water were sprinkled onto my face. I squinted my eyes open, first slowly, then opened them fast. I became more alert when I saw Demi in front of me.

"Oh thank god!" she uttered, sighing with relief.

Did she think I was...dead?

My heart beats accelerated when I looked at what I had done to my arm. I gasped, my breathing hitched and ragged at the same time.

"Baby girl...it's okay. Calm down. I'm going to get the first aid kit, okay? Focus on your breathing until then" she said calmly.

I nodded weakly, and when she left, I rested my head against the cabinet, doing as she told.

What had I gotten myself into?

Demi soon returned, and I sat up straight. First, she cleaned the blood with cold water, dabbing on it with a towel. I winced in pain as it started to sting. She gave me a guilty look, and started to clean it more carefully than before. After cleaning up the wound, she put on two band-aids and threw away the bloody tissues and cotton.

"Give me your hand" she said.

I did, and she helped me get to my feet. I was exhausted from this ridiculous day, and was thankful when Demi took me to my bed.

I couldn't even face her. I was so ashamed. I kept my eyes glued to the ground, holding back my tears.

"Addy...please look at me" Demi said.

I shook my head weakly, my tears falling down.

"Oh honey" she cried out in her calm voice, as she lifted my chin up with her finger.

She looked into my eyes, and I wondered what she saw. I dared myself to look at her, and I saw waves of sadness in her choclate brown eyes.

Lovingly, she tugged a hair strand behind my ear and kissed my forehead gently.

"I'm sorry mom. I never would have wanted you to find me like that. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" I rambled, my tears increasing now.

Demi shook her head in disagreement, "No baby girl. Don't feel guilty and don't apologize. Do you see me? I'm okay. I'm just concerned about you, my sweet child. I don't want your apologies, I want you to talk to me whenever you get an urge to harm yourself. I don't care if that's at 2 in the morning, or 2 in the afternoon, I want you to open up to me. You have no idea how much you mean to me and how much it would affect everyone in our family if something did happen to you. You are our world honey, and I hope you know that each and every one of us loves you"

Now, I was crying even more. How in holy world, could someone be so warm and gentle as Demi was? What did I do to deserve a mother like her?

"I love you mom. I love you so much" I said through my tears. She embraced me with a smile, and I cried into her chest. I was so grateful for her.

When I pulled away, I wiped off my tears. "How long was I out for?" I asked, biting my lip.

"I'm not sure Addy" she answered.

I nodded, not saying anything.

"Baby girl...when was the last time you had a meal?" Demi asked.

I pondered over the question, thinking back to the last time I actually ate without purging it out. There was no point in lying now. I decided to tell her the truth for once.

"Last monday" I said.

"Oh my God, Adeena. That's more than a week back" Demi said.

I sighed, my head pounding violently.
"I'm tired mom. I want to sleep" I said.

"No. You're eating first" she stated.

"N-no. Please mom. I'm fine, I can go a little longer. Please" I begged, my tears tearing up once again.

Demi shook her head. She wasn't going to budge. "Everyone with an eating disorder thinks they can go on longer until it kills them. I'm not going to let you starve yourself. You're eating, and that's final" she stated sternly.

I internally groaned. Generally, I would either argue, get mad or ignore everything she would say in a situation like this, but I was so tired, I didn't have the strength.

I got up from the bed, and Demi walked to the closet and brought out a sleeveless tee.

"You're sweating Addy. Wear this" she said, handing me the purple shirt.

"But my cuts..." I started.

"It's okay. You shouldn't have to hide them. Especially not from me" she explained. I gave her a weak nod along with a small smile.

"I'll make you a plate" she said, and headed downstairs.

I removed my hoodie, staring at my bare stomach in the mirror. As soon as I saw my hideous flesh, I covered it up in disgust. I slipped on the shirt, feeling the pleasant breeze from my balcony hit me instantly. It was the first time in so long that I had worn something that wasn't covering up my arms.

When I got to the kitchen, I sat on the kitchen stool, beside the marble kitchen island. I stared at my plate. It had rice, curry, and some fruits.

This was way too much, I thought.

"Mom...I-I don't think I can" I revealed, looking at her.

"Of course you can. I know you can. Block out the demons baby girl. Don't give in to them" she instructed. I could see how much she truly believed that I could do this with one look into her eyes.

I gulped nervously, feeling uneasy about the situation. I picked some rice and curry with the spoon and chewed it slowly. I did this for sometime until I had finished a little more than quarter of what was there before.

"I can't" I said, pushing the plate away from me, and getting up. My eyes burned with tears, and I knew my disorder had gotten worse. I wanted to purge it all up this instant. I realised how powerless I was now.

"Mom...I can't do this. Please, help me. Please" I begged, my defenses shattering all at once.

"Oh baby girl...I'm gonna do whatever it takes" she said softly, as she consoled me.

Maybe this was my first step to surrendering. I wasn't sure how long it would take though, for me to fall back to my old methods of self-destruction.
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