Wounded Hearts (A Demi Lovato Fan Fiction)

Chapter 36

Credits to sdyer33 for giving me an idea for this chapter❤

-Adeena's POV-

It was 9 p.m. and my urges were getting stronger again. My demons were roaring at me to pick up the blade sitting in the drawer.

I fought them as best I could, distracting myself by reading a book. I sat at my desk and tried to study, but no matter what I did, my thoughts were loud.

Eventually, I had to give in.

I grabbed the blade from my drawer, and sat down on the cold floor. Now that the sharp metal was in my hand, I didn't have time for second thoughts nor could I resist the urge.

I set it on my skin, getting ready for the sheer pain that I was about to endure. I dragged the blade across my arm, again and again until I could feel myself getting dizzy. The lack of food, and the blood loss was making my head spin.

I was scared. My heart beats quickened, and my throat felt like it was closing up. I gasped for air, and struggled to stop the bleeding.

"Addy, I'm leaving" I heard Marissa say, her voice distant.

The door opened after a knock, and I saw her rush towards me.

"Oh my God, Addy!" she cried out in terror.

She ran into the washroom and returned with a wet cloth. She put it on my bleeding arm, and the cloth was soon soaked with my blood.

"I-I c-can't br-breathe Mar" I said.

"Okay Addy, look at me" she said.

I looked into her eyes, and did as she said.

"Deep breath in and breathe out. Come on honey, you can do this" she urged.

At the same time, she continuously patted the wet cloth on my cuts, and they stung bad. I winced each time, and noticed that Marissa's eyes were teary.

Once I had calmed down, Marissa helped me stand up. She took me to my bed, and I sat down on the soft mattress.

I couldn't look at Marissa. She knew now, and I didn't know how to deal with that fact. She couldn't know! No one was ever supposed to know about this!

I heard her sigh, and take my hand in hers.

"Sweetie...why?" she asked.

I knew what she meant, but I didn't want to talk about anything right now. I wanted to be alone.

"Addy...please look at me" she urged.

My eyes glued to the ground, slowly looked up and at her.

"Talk to me Addy" she said.

I shook my head and fought hard to hold back my tears.

"No, Mar...I can't" I said.

A tear rolled down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. My heart ached watching her cry because of me. I knew what I did wasn't just affecting me, but others as well. But she wasn't supposed to know.

"Mar...don't cry, please." I begged.

"Tell me why Addy" she said, her tone stern.

"Why would you hurt yourself this bad?" she asked.

Because it's what I deserve.

"I don't wanna talk about it Mar" I said, my voice weak.

"Well you're gonna have to because I'm telling Demi. She needs to know" she said.

"No! No, she can't know Mar. Please, don't tell her" I begged, my tears flowing down.

"I can't lie to her Addy, she's my best friend and she's your mother" she said.

"Please M-Mar...she doesn't need to know about this" I cried.

"She'll hate me" I uttered.

"She won't hate you baby...she could never hate you" she explained.

"Demi has been through this Addy, you know that. I'm sure you've seen it online. She can help you, and she'll understand" she said.

"Mar...you can't tell her. I'll stop cutting, just please don't tell her" I begged.

My eyes were red by now, and my cheeks wet. I knew I was lying when I said I would stop cutting, but I needed to do whatever it took to stop Marissa from telling Demi.

Marissa sighed, and looked into my eyes.

"Y-you promise you'll stop cutting?" she asked.

I grit my teeth, but nodded in response. "I promise" I muttered.

"Okay...I won't tell Demi but you have to stop Addy. If Demi gets to know that I knew and never told her, she's gonna get mad at both of us" she said.

I knew Marissa hated lying to Demi, I could see it in her eyes that she was already feeling guilty. I needed to be careful about where I cut now.

"I need to leave. Demi's pulling into the driveway" she said.

"Mar" I called out.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"I'm sorry" I said, my voice laced with guilt.

"Don't apologize to me baby girl. Apologize to your body and yourself. That's what's getting hurt the most." she said.

I nodded and hugged her tightly, feeling horrible for letting her see my darkest secret. I never wanted to be a burden on anyone but now, I was.

"I love you Adeena. Stop harming yourself honey, you don't deserve it" she said, as she embraced me.

"I love you too Mar, and thank you for not telling Demi. I'll try my best not to let you down" I said.

"You could never let me down baby girl" she said.

She kissed my forehead, and gave me a smile before she walked out of the room.

I watched from my balcony as Marissa hugged Demi, and gave her a kiss goodbye as she left. I sighed, and laid down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Keeping this a secret from everyone was gonna be so much more difficult than I would've imagined.
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Stay strong, always❤