𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 ⚣ 𝙘𝙩𝙝+𝙖𝙛𝙞 ✔

10

Trigger warning - Mentions Self harm

Three days later

-

ashtonirwin: calum
ashtonirwin: did something happen
ashtonirwin: why aren't you answering
ashtonirwin: did i do something wrong

[ caluminthehood is online ]

ashtonirwin: calum
ashtonirwin: please talk to me, love
ashtonirwin: are you okay?

[ caluminthehood is offline ]

ashtonirwin: please answer
ashtonirwin: i'm worried about you, darling
ashtonirwin: say something
ashtonirwin: say anything

[ caluminthehood is calling ]

-

"Calum." Ashton sighed in relief. "Are you okay?"

"N-no." Ashton heard muffled sobs through the mic. "I did s-something really bad, Ash."

"What's wrong, Cal? What did you do?"

"I—" Calum sniffled in hopes of calming himself down. "Do you remember the f-first time we t-texted?"

"Of course."

"I told y-you that I w-wanted to kill myself, r-right?"

Ashton could easily see where this was going, but he had to let it play out. "More or less."

"I hadn't done a-anything like that in a while; about three m-months. No cutting, no p-pills, nothing."

"Calum—"

"I'm s-sorry, Ashton. I-I'm sorry. I
don't know w-why I did it, but there's blood e-everywhere a-and I don't know what to do."

"Oh." Ashton frowned. "Okay. Where are you right now?"

"Bedroom."

"Is there really blood everywhere or—"

"It's p-probably the worst I-I've done. Everywhere, A-Ashton. It's everywhere."

"Alright. Where did you cut? What part of your skin?"

"Um.."

"You've gotta tell me, Calum."

The younger lad sighed. "Wrists."

"Baby-" Ashton absentmindedly cooed, wishing they were speaking on a happier subject. Calum slightly relaxed at those words. He wasn't supposed to hear them, but he was glad he did. "Okay, I don't want you to worry about cleaning up the rooms, I just want you to clean up your arms."

"Okay."

"Now, the water is sort of going to sting, but you need to make sure they don't get infected. Depending on what kind of blade it was, of course, and the depth of the cut."

"How do y-you know so much a-about this?"

"It's not important. Are you cleaning yourself up?"

"Working o-on it." Calum eventually replied. "It does kinda sting."

"What did you expect?"

"I d-don't know. Cutting h-hurts, but cleaning them i-isn't as bad as I thought."

"You've cut before, right?"

"Yes."

"But you never cleaned them afterwards?"

Calum found himself sighing once again. "I u-usually just s-showered after. Once they stopped b-bleeding."

Ashton bit his lip. He hadn't expected for Calum to speak with such ease about such a sensitive topic. "You're very strong, Calum."

"No, I'm not."

"You are. Any other person would be crying—"

"I was."

"Any other person would have been scared—"

"I am."

"Any other person wouldn't have asked for help. That makes you strong."

"No it doesn't."

"It does."

Calum found no point in arguing with the honey haired man. "Ash?"

"Yeah?"

Calum hummed, which turned into a yawn. "I'm sleepy."

"Are you done cleaning?" Questioned the older lad, sad to have their conversation come to an end.

"Mhm."

"You gonna go to bed now?"

"No."

"You need to sleep."

"Don't wanna sleep alone, Ash. M' so tired of sleeping alone."

Ashton frowned at the boy's words. "Go get into your bed, Calum."

Silence, until Ashton heard the ruffling of a blanket, and then a whimper.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine."

"Do you want me to let you sleep?"

Calum rapidly shook his head, then realized Ashton couldn't see him. "No. Please don't leave."

"I won't."

After a few short minutes, Calum had nearly fallen asleep, but was startled when a loud noise came from Ashton's end of the line.

"Shit." Ashton groaned. "Sorry."

"What was that?" Calum drowsily asked, unintentionally slurring his words.

"Don't worry about it, love. Just go to sleep."

Calum smiled, the familiar feeling of drifting off into the world of dreams taking over his weakened body. "You called me love."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, Ash, it was sweet."

"Okay."

And Ashton stayed on the phone with Calum until he'd fallen asleep, knowing how much it hurt to be alone when you're in pain.

-