𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 ⚣ 𝙘𝙩𝙝+𝙖𝙛𝙞 ✔

54

this is an important chapter, so read carefully

and please comment a whole bunch—it makes my day

-

caluminthehood: ashton 😔

[ astroash is online ]

caluminthehood: you're probably out doing something important, but i just need someone to talk to
caluminthehood: i'm being stupid and clingy and i'm sorry
caluminthehood: but i need to talk to you

astroash: nothing is more important than you baby
astroash: what's wrong?

caluminthehood: i feel really bad

astroash: explain it to me love

caluminthehood: my head hurts ash
caluminthehood: there's so many bad thoughts
caluminthehood: and i really wanna hurt myself
caluminthehood: i'm trying so hard but it's pointless

astroash: whatever they're saying, it's not true i promise
astroash: they're wrong
astroash: you are so strong and you're gonna be okay
astroash: can you tell me some of the bad thoughts

caluminthehood: i'm so fat
caluminthehood: and so ugly
caluminthehood: you don't really like me
caluminthehood: no one does
caluminthehood: my parents won't even talk to me
caluminthehood: i don't deserve to be alive

-

Ashton felt tears well in his eyes as he read over Calum's messages and chewed furiously at his bottom lip. He knew what he had to do, it was time. Calum needed to hear what Ashton had to say, and Ashton needed to tell him.

-

astroash: i promise you, calum, you are far from fat or ugly
astroash: you're so so beautiful
astroash: your body is perfect, just like the rest of you
astroash: and your parents are assholes for treating you like this, because you deserve so much better than that
astroash: you deserve people who care
astroash: i really do like you
astroash: more than like
astroash: this concept is terrifying, but i love you
astroash: I LOVE YOU
astroash: understand?
astroash: and i need you to be happy

-

Calum blinked once, twice, three times at his screen. Had he read something wrong? He tightly shut his eyes, squeezing a few stray tears out in hopes of clearing his vision, as his phone remained in his shaking hands.

Ashton loved him? That couldn't be right. No one could love him. It was impossible to love a person unwilling to love themselves.

Ashton had said it.

But had Ashton meant it?

-

caluminthehood: you love me?

astroash: i really do

caluminthehood: you can't, ashton
caluminthehood: i'm such a fuck up
caluminthehood: you could have someone so much better

astroash: i don't need you to say it back to me
astroash: but i love you
astroash: and there isn't anyone i'd rather have

caluminthehood: really?

astroash: i promise
astroash: its not something you get to choose
astroash: but everyone has someone that they belong with
astroash: and i feel like i belong with you