𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 ⚣ 𝙘𝙩𝙝+𝙖𝙛𝙞 ✔

62

{ trigger warning : mentions rape }

(Play the song when you see italics)

-

Today was entirely dedicated to staying home. As suggested the day before, matching tattoos held more meaning than a wedding, so that was what they'd have.

Calum and Ashton were now sitting on the sofa, with an excited Duke jumping all over them as they rifled through magazines and scrolled through endless websites on their phones.

Both had found designs that they liked-separately-but they wanted to find one that they both loved.

Every few minutes, Calum or Ashton would show each other a design, but if they had no design to show, they'd simply exchange sweet kisses until they smiled so hard that it hurt.

"What about this one?" Calum offered, showing Ashton two matching skulls wearing crowns.

"I like it." Ashton replied quietly. "But skull tattoos are super common, and I want ours to be special."

"It'll be special because it's ours." Calum mumbled, then nuzzled his face into Ashton's neck.

Ashton wrapped his arms protectively around the boy, holding him close as if it was the only thing he could do. Ashton was worried-about Calum, about himself, about them-but he tried not to let it show.

Calum feathered light kisses along Ashton's neck, noticing how stressed Ashton suddenly seemed. Ashton might not open up, but Calum could at least try to lighten the mood. "Do you want rings?"

"As long as you're happy, I don't care."

"Stop doing that." Calum mumbled, frowning.

"Stop doing what?"

"When I ask you a question, I want an answer. Don't tell me what you think I wanna hear, tell me your opinion."

Ashton sighed. "Okay, yeah. I want rings."

Calum smiled against Ashton's neck. "Me too."

Ashton sighed again, this time louder. His mind seemed to be running a million miles a minute, thoughts clouding his brain with no escape in sight. Everything that he'd fought away broke through the wall he'd spent so much time building, and as his breathing quickened and his vision blurred, he knew that he had just lost.

"Ash-" Calum whispered, rubbing small circles on his love's back. "Are you okay?"

Ashton swallowed the lump in his throat. "I...I don't know."

"What's the matter?" Calum pulled out of Ashton's grip, locking their eyes together.

Ashton shook his head; the memories that had invaded his mind were painful, and he didn't think that speaking about it-even to Calum-would make it better.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Hot tears pricked at Ashton's hazel eyes. He felt weak and stupid, but at least he wasn't alone. "I-It hurts, Cal. I just-I can't make it stop..."

Calum cupped Ashton's face in his hands, searching his eyes for some emotion other than the great pain they showcased.

"What hurts, my love?" Calum whispered, lips forming a tight, worried line as he watched Ashton's face carefully.

"The memories..." Ashton softly mumbled, averting his eyes. "He said he loved me every time it happened, but I know he didn't. I can't believe I ever trusted him."

Calum realized who Ashton was speaking of, and couldn't help the worry and sadness he felt.

"Ashton, will you tell me what he did, baby?"