DEAR CONNOR

BEAUTIFUL LIE

DIANA'S P.O.V

Do you think I could sleep?  Big no.  I can't still stand over the fact that Connor dates Ariana.  I'm sorry.  You might be hating me right now.  But please, do you understand the feel of being the secret admirer of a guy who your sister date?

And I wrote again today.  This is another secret life of me.  I wrote almost everything I could think of Connor in my book.  It's from couple of years before, I kept collecting my ideas and wrote it down whenever I had time.  The cold prevented me from sleep.  So I lied to everybody.  But instead of writing the random stuff, I think I would just speak to him out loud about my feeling.

After some moment, I put my jacket on, and the hoodie too, slipped into my Converse, and walked outside the house.  I believe that Riley and Toby were home.  And Connor would never come home this fast before dinner.  I drove myself down the street, made a way straight to the McDonough's residence.  I will stop lying.  How could you miss the house of a person you adore the most?  And it's in the same city too as me.  No way.  I've been knowing their residence probably since 2 years ago.  Yeah, I know, long before Ariana's family dinner with Mr. and Mrs. McDonough.

I sneaked out of my car, because I parked it at the corner of the street.  Then I walked normally like a strangers with a hoodie on.  I put the letter on their mailbox, then ran away.  Done for today.

"Diana?  Sweety, you there?"  Ariana unlocked the front door and soon walked up to my room.

"Hmm..."  I pretended to wake up.

"Oh!  I'm sorry, did I wake you?"  She sit on the corner of my bed.

"That's okay..."  I groaned and turned around.  "Hey sissy."

"Heey..."  She ran her fingers through my hair to feel my fever.  "How you feeling baby?"

"Much better.  Thank you so much for the dinner.  Don't bother next time though."  I smiled to her.

"I'm the nurse, remembere?"  She rolled her eyes.

"Haha right...  Uh, I didn't hear Connor's voice, where is he?"  I tried to sit.

"I asked him to come home today, maybe until few days later."  Ariana bowed her head, smiling.  "He needs a time for himself too right."

Dang.  I just put a letter on his mailbox and he came home, today, for real?  Why is there such coincidence?  How if he found my letter earlier than I thought he would?  I just freaked out inside, but to hide the expression, I tried to looked spacing out.  But actually I wasn't.

"Dee?"  Ariana shook my hand.

"Oh!  Oh yeah right.  Right, he needs time.  Anything for your good.  I just want to make sure you're okay meanwhile he isn't here.  You know, after 2 weeks full of togetherness."  I tickled Ariana.

"Hahaha...  Weird, I miss him right now."  She smiled at me.  "But we had a good time at the dinner.  And I'm not his wife though, I can't hold his back at all times."

"Sure.  Yeah, every relationship needs a space."  I nodded.

"Alright, I'm just gonnaa change then go to sleep.  Ugh..."  Ariana strecthed her neck.

"Take your time sweety.  Take your time."  I smirked.

She was about to close my room's door but she stopped, turned around, and back sitting again in front of me.  "Hey, can I ask you something?"

You don't know how fast my heart's beating right now.

"Sure Ari, anything."

"You're the most beautiful 20 years old girl I've ever known...  I'm just curious, do you have a boyfriend?"  She awkwardly smile.

"Whoa...  Haha I didn't see that question coming."  I cleared my throat.  "No, to be honest, I'm no luck."

"What?  No way.  You should be having one.  No?"

"No."  I shook my head.  "Sorry I let you down, but I'm not that good."

"Well...  Have you ever thought of dating a younger guy?"  Ariana asked again.  This huge question mark is on my mind right now.

"I think so.  I mean I don't pick based on that thing.  But why?  You're too dead curious right now."  I pinched her knee.

"Hey I just want to help.  What about Riley?"  She spoke slowly.

"Excuse me?!"  I choked.

"Eyy whoa take it easy sweety, breathe!"  Ariana helped me to get my water and drank me.

"I'm sorry.  Wow.  You shocked me twice in a minute.  Why came up with such idea like this?"  I controlled my breathe.

"I think you're good together.  Cute couple."  She played with my hair.  "Doesn't it good, to have boyfriends whom actually are brothers?  You and I?"

"Ah...  Hahaha.  You're cute, sis."  I chuckled.

"I'm serious, Diana.  Riley's a good guy.  And Toby too, of course.  But since he's too young for you, I think Riley's a good idea.  And also with the fact that you're coming to the same school, even though Riley gets the online program.  You know."

"Jeez."  I rolled my eyes.  "Look.  I'll find out my own boyfriend.  And it doesn't have to come up from same exact family as your precious Connor."  I spoke sassily to break the ice.  She laughed.

"Just wanna help, that's all.  And just saying.  Connor and I agree that you both are looking cute together."  Ariana winked at me and left.

"Oh yeah, looking cute until you know who I love..."  I murmured to myself.

I swept away my tears that I've been holding up before Ariana closed my door.  Why is it so wrong, everything about me?  I thought loving someone was a great idea until Ariana takes him away from me.  And I thought it would be great to just keep the feeling inside until my own crush told that I would look cute together with his little brother.  Just stop, please.  Just stop.