DEAR CONNOR

SILENT NIGHT

TANYA'S P.O.V

"Come on guys hurry up!"  I shouted to the entire house.  "Gosh, why are you guys always that late..."

"Do they always like this?"  Aireen chuckled.

"Ha you have no idea.  My life's difficult."  I sighed playfully.

"I like your life.  It's kinda cool you know."  She smiled.

"Nah, not as cool as you."  I sit on the living room couch.

"How so?"  She followed me to sit.

"Because Melbourne.  Wow I always want to go to Melbourne.  Everything in there is just so cool."  I glanced at her.  "How did exactly you meet Diana?"

"Oh, that...  Uhm I was at the park downtown, giving this flyers to everybody around about BYE's Pacific concert next July.  I'm the Melbourne street team.  So I came up to Diana and gave one to her.  Then we had a talk.  I just liked her in the first place.  Then she left, for that freaking long 5 months...  Until her nurse called me and asked me to come over." 

Aireen and I were stuck in silence.  She took a deep breath, as i released my sigh.  It's hard.  The toughest New Year Eve we've ever had.  For once, I wanted to tell people everything I knew about Diana's secrets.  That's a lot.  I don't know if people could handle that.  And Aireen, she's new to this.  She only knew very little piece of the complete story.  I felt like it's narrowed down to me now.  Whether I wanted to speak up or not, yet.

"Ready!"  Riley ran downstairs.

"Jeez, you boy."  I shook my head. 

"You look even more beautiful with that little pouty lips."  He kissed me.

"Go away!"  I playfully pushed him back.

"Where's Toby..."  Aireen murmured.

"You gotta just pray whenever it's about him."  Riley chuckled.  "Toby's still trying to dress Tank."

"Dress what???"  I choked.

"You ain't know nothing..."  Riley whistled as he slipped on his shoes.

"Con, ready?"  Aireen shouted again.

"Yes yes, a second!"  He answered.

We were still waiting until the next 15 minutes and finally everybody gathered in the living room.  Toby carried Tank in his hands.  Riley's ready to drive.  So we soon hopped into the car.  I let Connor sit with Riley in the front, even though usually I kept him company.  Connor needed a time for himself.  And I knew it really well.

"Happy new year."  Riley spoke to himself as we parked the car in the hospital.

"C'mon!"  I snapped everybody back on earth.

"Yup."  Toby nodded and we walked as a group to the hospital.

This corridor was even colder than before.  I'm freezing inside Riley's arm.  There's something different but I don't know what.  We walked slowly, passed so many doors before it came down to Diana's room.  I let everybody walked behind me because I rushed myself to meet her.  I released Riley's arm from my waist, then soon opened the door.

"Twinnie, happy new year!"  I shouted happily.

No sound.  No response.

"Dee, hey, you sleep?"  I shook her hands.  "Dee...?"

"Diana..."  Connor whispered right behind me.

"She's...not..."  I looked up to Riley.

"I'll call the Doctor."  Riley stepped aback and ran fast to the nurse room.

"It's...  Diana, hey twin, it's me..."  I felt the tears were streaming down my face.

"Diana, wake up..."  Aireen just fell on the ground without any warning, even Toby can't catch her.

"Step back."  Riley commanded, but he most likely carried me back because the nurse and Doctor McCain soon put everything on her.

I stared at her pale skin and beautiful face without blinking even for once.  The whole world was just stop spinning.  I fell the dinner on the ground.  My body's trembling so hard, Riley couldn't help me to stop it.  I can't talk.  My voice just cracked inside my throat.  The euforia of New Year Eve has gone.  I should've not left her alone.

"Don't you dare cover her with that!!!  She's alive!!!"  I punched Doctor McCain.

"Tanya, I'm sorry..."  Doctor McCain tried to hug me but I took his hands off.

"DIANA'S NOT DEAD!!!  HOW DARE YOU!!!"  I tossed my whole body on the floor.

"No!"  I glanced at Aireen, she cried against Toby's chest.

Everybody was so quite.  Connor stood by the front door, can't even blink his watery eyes.  The only sound we made was mine, my groan.  Yes I groaned to the top of my lungs.  My best friend's gone.

"She's not going anywhere..."  Connor came closer to her body.

"Sir, let us handle this."  The nurse stopped him but Connor kept walking.

"Babe, this is me...  Come on, wake up.  It's New Year Eve.  We should celebrate this together.  Come on, please, baby please wake up.  Open your eyes.  You can do this once again.  It's not that hard to stay awake.  I beg you...  This is me Connor...  For God's sake please..."

Connor's whisper can make a hole in my heart, so big, so hurt.  His tender voice came up slower.  His tears were streaming so fast over his cheeks.  Riley tried to support his body but Connor's too weak.  After some minutes, I decided to help Riley to snap Connor back, because after all, it's hard too for him.

"I was just about to marry you..."  Connor whispered to Diana's ears.  She didn't move anymore.

"Con, that's enough.  Let them take care of her first."  Riley took his deep breath and tried his best to carry Connor.

"Wake up...  Wake up baby wake up...  DIANA WAKE UP!!!!!"  Connor hit his head on the bedside repeatedly.

"Connor stop it."  I held his hands.  "Stop it."

He finally released the tight grip on Diana's hands and that white blanket, then we all stepped aback.  The nurse soon take care of her body.  It's seriously so quite right here.  Instead of sit, I walked here and there, trying to find everything else left, that I knew I was the only one who can find it.

I opened her drawer.  Lately, in such very limited time, Diana managed it to write down everything she felt, but she didn't let me to read them yet.  Maybe that's now.  And yes I found so many envelope with our names on it.  But the last paper, she let it unsealed.  So that's the first one I read.

Thank you for the care and love and support.  But it's over now. Thank you.  Happy New Year.