DEAR CONNOR

FRAGILE GLASS FLOOR

DIANA'S P.O.V

This midnight I did the homework in my apartment all day long.  It's a beautiful day today, but too cold to go outside.  I was planning to go shopping with Aireen but she got school in the morning, then we decided that it's too cold to shop.  Maybe tomorrow.  So I was peacefully doing my work until my Skype received a call.  Ariana.  But she didn't request a video call.  It's rare.  I just called her like yesterday and now she might wanted to report me the result.  

"Hey sissy, how you doing?"  I forwarded the call to my phone then answered her.

"Thank you for not telling me everything.  Thank you."  Her voice was really low I barely can hear.

"Ari, you there?  Baby sorry I can't hear you."  I put my headphones on.

"No you don't even need to hear me.  You're...lying to me."  I stared at the distance with the most shocked expression I've could ever made.

"I'M YOUR OWN SISTER, DEE!!!  FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!"  Ariana yelled louder.

"Please...  Please, I don't understand, what this is about..."  I stuttered.  I'm afraid that something happened just like I imagine.

"STOP PRETENDING!!!  I THOUGHT YOU'RE THE BEST SISTER IN THE WHOLE FREAKING WORLD!  THEN YOU'RE DATING MY BOYFRIEND!  CAN'T YOU JUST STOP TORTURING ME WITH THIS?  THAT HURTS!!!"  

"Ariana, please listen to me!  I don't even date Connor!  There's nothing happen between us, you gotta trust me!"  I tried to explain.

"YEAH?  REALLY?  EXCEPT HE'S LIKELY MORE CONCERN ABOUT YOU THAN MYSELF!  HE'S MISSING YOU!  I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS SO STUPID TO NOT REALIZE IT EARLIER THAT HIS ATTITUDE CHANGED RIGHT AFTER YOU'RE GONE!"  

She told me whole bad things.  I cried against the wall so loudly.  What have they done there in Orlando that made Ariana hate me this way?  I swear to God, one thing that separated me from the willingness to have Connor as my boyfriend - even if I could, is Ariana's happiness.  I wanted to make her happy.  So I stepped back.  This Melbourne plan was all about her smile.  I know things could have been worst if I stayed longer.  No you're wrong.  I don't need this medical treatment from Doctor Cory whatsoever I'm dying anyway.  It's about my little sister who's now hating me so much.

"It's not...like that...  I swear Connor and I have nothing between us... Ari, I'm your sister..."  I cried louder.

"Don't say it anymore.  You think this is easy for me?  Dude, can't you at least be happy with someone else?  There's a billion of guys that you could choose instead of taking Connor from me!!!  Oh, and don't bother to come home anymore.  We're done here."  

Ariana shut the call before I could convince more.  My whole life has just done.  No I don't have reason anymore to come back to Orlando later.  I'm the unworthy.  Ariana doesn't want to meet me anymore, then that's it.  I was just so tired of drama.  

I sit on the edge of my bed until I found Tanya's number was asking for a video call on Skype.

"Tanya, I'm not in the mood."  That's the first line I said to her instead of saying hello.

"Wh...at's going on?"  She was shocked literally.

"Ariana.  I guess you knew it already."  I swept my tears away.  "What is happening there, seriously?  Why my sister hate me now?"

"What did she tell you?"  Tanya widened her eyes.

"What is happening there?"  I asked back.

"Diana, it's me."  Then suddenly somebody carried the laptop when I was still talking to Tanya, turned out it's Connor.  "We need to talk."

"No I don't have anything to talk to you.  Give it back to Tanya or I'll disconnect."  I said in short.

"It's over between me and Ariana.  I love you.  That's all I know now.  I don't care if you even care to know it, but that's all.  I don't know what she told you as well, but please, I need you to come back."  Connor cut my whole conversation with his line.

"Stop.  I want Tanya."  I looked away.  Can't stand over his eyes at this point.

"Please..."  Connor begged.  "It's supposed to be this way.  Okay?  I kissed you.  I'm sorry.  I should have done that later, which is now, when it's all over between me and her.  My fault.  I dated a girl that I think I don't love as much as I do to you."

"CONNOR!  For God's sake, I can't handle this..."  I cried in front of him.

"It's my fault...  Blame me."  He bowed his head.

I looked at him and all things in his room.  I bet it's his room, indeed, because I found the guitar I gave him few days ago at the corner of the room.  I studied every inch of his face.  He's in pain too.  Who am I to blame him.

"No.  It's nobody's fault."  I shook my head.

"Please come home..."  He begged again.

"Con, it's not supposed to be that way.  We should be realistic too.  You and I can't be together.  However Ariana's still my sister, whether she likes it or not."  I tried to look stronger.

"Then tell me, who can stop us now?  I know it sounds horrible, or maybe the fans will be shocked knowing what happens here.  But it's how life works."  Connor stared deep down into my eyes.  I felt guilty talking to her meanwhile I'm sure Ariana's now crying in her room.

"I'm sorry."  I bowed my head.  "School holds me back."

"Move back!"  Connor tried to find all ways possible to make it happen.

"Connor, please..."  I blinked a tear.

"Baby, please...  I want you here.  I need you here."  His blue eyes were now darken.

"I gotta go, alright?  It's midnight already."  I smiled.  "Good night."

'Diana!!!"

I heard him yelling at me but I decided to end the conversation.  Nothing would work well now.  I can't force myself to keep talking when I didn't even know what to do anymore.  Some secrets will remain secrets.  First, my Celiac condition.  Nothing could ever change that.  Second, I'm the Azalea.  Connor hasn't known about that yet, so be it.  The thing is, I can't let ourselves got too attached to each other, tried to build up a relationship where I know we stand on a fragile glass floor.  I don't want him to feel that everything's that alright when at the end of the day I'm sure I will be gone forever.  And it doesn't even take forever anymore to know how much time I have left.