DEAR CONNOR

I LOVE SOMEONE I CAN'T HAVE

DIANA'S P.O.V

Dear Connor,

How you doing?  Uhm...sorry for not writing too much this time.  I got lot things to do and some problems to solve, but everything's good now.  And I hope you're fine too.

Connor, I wish I could hug you right now.  My world is falling apart and I'm so torn.

I love someone I can't have.

Love,

Azalea.

I put the letter inside the envelope and walked to Tanya's house.  It was really cold outside so I put my jacket and hoodie on.  I didn't call her that I want to come over.  Some plans are just better left unexplained.  I only wanted to solve this problem with her.

"Excuse me?"  I rang the door bell.

"Hang on!"  She answered from the inside.  "You."

"Yes, me.  May I come in?"  I smiled.

She took a moment to think, then stepped aside.  "Come."

"I want to talk to you.  Where can we talk?"  I bowed my head.  This body can't stop shivering.  I looked so mess.

"My room is fine."  Tanya rolled her eyes but walked upstairs so I followed her.

"Look.  I'm just gonna go straight to the point.  I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my plan.  It's just...I met coach this morning on the corridor before class, and he asked me if I was gonna join the afternoon exercise.  I can't stop lying to other people that I'm still strong for that.  You know baby, I don't eat normal food anymore.  I can't even drink my milk.  Like some selected veggies could make me stand up.  So the point is, I can't play anymore.  I might be using the wheel chair like 3 months from now.  It's so...frustrating.  I wish I could tell you how much I wanted to cry when I decided this..."

"My goodness..."  She turned around and sit by my side.

"I'm sorry.  Not supposed to be like this."  I swept away my tears.

"No no no.  I'm the stupid one.  I'm...  I just realized that I was so selfish..."  She stared into my eyes.

"No you're not exactly.  I'd react the same way if I were you."  I chuckled in tears.

"I'm so sorry Dee...  Terribly sorry.  I didn't know that it's hard for you too.  It's already hard for me and I stopped thinking the possibilities that actually it's you who got hurt the most..."  She shook her head all the time.

"It's okay...  Ssh don't cry...  I got you."  I hugged her tightly.

"What did it feel, to take off that captain wristband?"  She spoke from inside my hug.

"It's like your world is torn apart.  Falls down hitting your head.  So hard.  Really hard."  I can't hold up the tears anymore.

"I'm sorry twin.  I'm sorry."  Tanya murmured.

"I'm glad that we're good."  I smiled releasing her.  "At least I can still watch your match at anytime." 

"You definitely should.  You're one of them.  That's what coach told us this afternoon."  She chuckled.

"Hmm, yeah, of course."  I smiled.  "And Tanya, I think I got something to tell you, and show you, even though it's not the best news either."

"What's that?"  She repositioned herself.