DEAR CONNOR

WHAT IF'S

DIANA'S P.O.V

New day.  Good morning.  Here we go, decisions.

I woke up earlier today to make breakfast.  Mom and Dad haven't woke up yet.  That's good.  Because I don't feel like talking this early, so leave me alone.

I made some salad for myself then took a seat on the couch in the living room.  I made toasts too for my parents before.  Watching this nonsense on TV has brought me to another level of thoughts at this very 7.30 am.

"Morning sweetheart...  Oh, you've gotten your breakfast?"  Mom greeted me.

"Done Mom.  It's yours and Dad's on the table."  I pointed.

"Thanks Diana.  This is delicious."  Mom took a slice.

"Ah, just some toasts."  I smiled bowing my head because Mom joined me on the couch.

"Dee."  Dad called me as he walked downstairs.

"Good morning."  I lifted my cereal spoon.

"Morning.  Shall we talk?"  Dad took the plate of toasts and brought it to the living room table.  Here we go.

"Sure sure, I'm all ears."  I repositioned myself politely.

"About your plan."  Dad cleared his throat.

"Isn't it too fast, again?  We just want to make sure."  Mom added.

"Hmm...  I guess not, Mom.  I've measured everything."  I shook my head.

"You're too young, honestly."  Mom answered me and Dad sighed.

"What?  Pardon me, but I'm 20.  What makes you think that I'm too young?  I'm adult."  I held my breath.  The tears were about to fall down.

"Honey, that's not what we meant.  You were being hospitalized like few weeks ago.  We're scared that something could happen to you."  Dad explained but still, I can't take it.

"Look.  Being hospitalized is just another phase of life.  Why then?  Just because I was a bit weak, then got hospitalized, I can't have my rights to pursue my dreams?"  I started to crack. 

"My gosh..."  Mom sighed again.

"I just want to do it by my own self..."  I murmured.  "But if I'm not good enough to earn your trusts, then fine, I'll stay."

"Diana.  Come on sweetheart."  Mom held my hand when I was about to go to the kitchen.

"It's okay Mom, Dad, I understand.  Now I know my limit."  I smiled bitterly.

"Choose another place baby, then I'll allow you.  It's just Melbourne is too dangerous."  Dad gave excuses.

"Yeah.  I believe so."  I squinted my eyes, smiled awkwardly, then ran upstairs.

Look.  I can't tell them about this.  But I've tried to find another way to save my life.  And this doctor in Melbourne that I've been searched for is the best on his field.  I'm sure that Doctor McCain will give me a submitted letter so that I can go to see this Celiac specialist in there.  But apparently, my plan has just been crashed down.  What to do now?  I know this thing for sure, that Doctor McCain can't save me either because he isn't the real Celiac specialist.  He's just internist.  Now...I might be slowly die without any help.

"Dee?  What are you doing?"  Tanya called me like 15 minutes after that heavy conversation downstairs.

"Hey.  Uhm nothing actually.  You need me?"  I asked back.