DEAR CONNOR

INSECURITIES

ARIANA'S P.O.V

"Connie!  I'm home!"  I shouted to him through the phone.

"Ah!  Really!  When did you arrive?"  He was surprised.  Or shocked.

"Early morning.  I took midnight flight."  I giggled.  "Hey dude, come on and hang out sometimes!" 

"Right!  Since I'm not even alive yet right now...  What about you, come to my place, right now?"  He groaned.  Connor's just so cute.

"Watch out, I'm gonna jump through the window."  I smirked.

"Very much welcomed."  He murmured...then nothing.  He left me sleeping again.

Okay.  Is it just me or seriously everybody on this earth are just too lazy to wake up?  Look.  I got the midnight flight from Vegas to Orlando.  Then I got to have the cab by myself, alone, from the airport to home.  And I woke my sister, made her breakfast, made my parents breakfast, and already beautifully sit on this living room couch.  Oh and I also had tied up my hair to this freaking ponytail.  Anybody feel me?  I need my boyfriend.

"Mom, Dad, when will we go shopping?"  I took off the plates from the dining table to help Mom.

"Dad has urgent meeting baby.  We'll tell you about that later."  Mom kissed my cheek.

"Ah so bad..."  I pouted.  "Can I just go to Connor's house?  You can call me at anytime and I'll go back home."

"Sure!  Anything for you.  Send me some loves to the McDonough!"  Mom waved.

"Okay!  And Pops, I'm going out alright!"  I kissed his forehead while he's talking to a colleague then drove away.

Can't wait to meet them all.  Well I wish Diana could come with me but school should come first.  I just really wanted to give her and Riley more quality time to get to know each other.  Wouldn't it be great.

By the time I arrived at their house, I saw Toby was playign with Tank outside.  So I didn't call Connor to open the door.

"Hey Tobes!"  I waved from the distance.

"Hey!"  Toby let Tank go and hugged me.  "How you doing?"

"I'm good.  How are you?"  I replied.

"Fantastic!  Haha.  Except this dude.  He's upset because I didn't bring him outside yesterday afternoon."  Toby rolled his eyes pointing to Tank.

"Ah...  Bad boy."  I snuggled Tank and brought him inside.  "Is Connor upstairs?"

"Yeah, snoring safe and sound."  Toby chuckled.

"Haha.  Alright I'm gonna go up first.  Thanks Toby!"  I gave Tank to him.

"Sure sure!"

I opened Connor's door and sneaked.  He's snoring but really slowly.  My baby was dead tired huh.

"Babe, wake up."  I pecked his lips.

"Hmm...  Who are you..."

"Eh what?!  Whoa.  Dude, wake up."  I took off his blanket so he unwillingly opened his eyes.

"ARIANA!  Baby I'm sorry."  Connor spoke really fastly which made me laugh so hard.

"Yeah yeah okay, apologize accepted.  Now go wash yourself.  Meeting with Antony in 2 hours."  I snapped my fingers.

"Nooo...  One more hour..."  He fell asleep again.

"Jesus."  I rolled my eyes.  "Wake up sleepyhead, for banana's sake." 

"Stop...pulling...my...hand..."  He spoke between his snore.

This isn't working.  Okay then, I put my alarm to the next 30 minutes.  Not one hour, never.  Connor just slept again right away a second after I stopped pulling his hand.  Dang I suddenly felt tired too.  So I lied down on Connor's arms, tried to shut my eyes for a while.  I always like to slip my hands below the pillow like I don't know what for but I feel comfortable whenever I do that.  So I did, to Connor's pillow.  Oh.  What's this.

"Azalea..."  I murmured.  Who's Azalea?

Surprisingly, Connor woke up right away, sit beside me, and studied my face.

"It's...I'm sorry."  He bowed his head.

"Hmm?  Sorry what?"  This time I studied his expression back.

"That letter...  I can't hide you anything.  So sorry."  He held my hand and kissed it.

"Connor, this is ridiculous.  I don't know what you're talking about."  I stared at the envelope of this letter that I haven't even opened yet.  "Azalea?"

"Yes, Azalea.  She's a fan.  But keeps being anonymous since the first time."  He explained.

"Okay...  Then?"

"She puts letters like this in our mailbox.  Riley and Toby always find it everytime they take the fan mails."

"Interesting..."  I nodded.  "May I?"

"Are you mad at me?"  Connor bowed his head.

"Of course not.  What to mad though?"  I smiled.

"Thank you."  Connor wore a white tee from his dresser in front of me while I opened the envelope.

"Confusing..."  I murmured.  "Are you sure you don't know her?  Maybe somebody from the past?"

"No."  Connor shook his head.  "Let it be.  I'll figure out while I remember."

"Hmm."  I put the letter back to the envelope and put it on his pillow.

It's not that...I hate this girl.  No.  The words on that letter sounds so real.  I know how hard it is for me and Connor to stick around and give up everything to keep our relationship.  But I'm a human too.  Sometimes I'm hurt when I see the girls crave for my position, or even hate me like that because I date their idol.  And I also know how hard it is to Connor to stick around in between this hectic life, me and tons of fans that I have too.  After a while, I pushed aside all the insecurities to just focus on Connor.  But this Azalea girl just broke my wall.  I felt insecure again for the first time.  Her words are like sharp knife.  I felt something but I don't know what.  She's close enough.  I think. 

"I love you."  Connor hugged me from behind, we stood in the mirror.

"Thank you."  I shut my eyes.

"I know what you feel.  That's why I didn't tell you that fast."  He put his chin down on my shoulder.

"It's okay, you gotta tell me everything in the first place."  I smiled.

"Hmm."  Connor took the deep breath.

"Are we good?"  I murmured.

"Yeah."  He nodded.

"Okay."  I bowed my head.  Too much feelings inside.