DEAR CONNOR

PINKY PROMISE

TANYA'S P.O.V

A week, and it's still a mess.  Connor and I didn't talk yet to each other because of ego.  Yes we think we have right on Diana's more than another.  But deep inside me, I still understand Connor.  Completely understand his feeling.  He lost so much time because time made him lose it.  I also felt sorry for Riley and the guys, because they're stuck in between.  It's me, Riley's girlfriend, and there's Connor, Riley's brother.  To loosen the tension, I decided to stay in house for couple days.  Somebody needed to step back.  And I decided it should be me.  

"Babe, how you doing?"  Riley called me this morning, just like he did everyday.  But I refused to meet him.  Not yet.

"I'm better.  How you guys doing?"  I sighed.

"We're good, I guess.  Except Connor.  He disappeared again to the cemetery 'til Toby and I had to pick him up at midnight."  Riley spoke in a low tone.  Our stress level was too high.

"Look.  Ri, I'm sorry about..."  I started to crack.

"No, no it's fine.  Connor forgives you.  And he said sorry too.  It's just he doesn't even want to talk to any of us."  Riley explained.

"I felt so bad for yelling at him that way."  I cried.

"Babe, please, stop crying...  I can't stand to see you like this.  Please, let me come over, okay?"  He begged.

"Alright."  I swept my tears.  "I'll be waiting."

"Be there in 15.  I love you."

"I love you too."  I took a deep breath and hang up the phone.

"Is it Riley?"  Aireen came downstairs.

"Yes."  I nodded.  "Is it okay for you?  You can ask Toby too.  You need him."

"I don't know, Tanya.  It's just overwhelming now..."  Aireen cried against my hug.

"I can exactly relate.  I'm sorry we make your Christmas horrible."  I whispered.

"No no no it's wonderful.  To know you all in here was a bless for me.  But I mean...we lost her.  And it's something I don't like at all..."  She cracked up again.

"Diana loves you."  I swept her tears.  "We're strong together."

"Yeah we should."  She forced a smile.

"Shall we cook breakfast?  Text Toby, ask him to come with Riley."  I smiled.

"Thank you."

Aireen took her phone upstairs.  I know it, there's something between Toby and Aireen.  But they held themselves back, because time has never been wrong than now.  It's a little bit different with me, who have dated Riley for about 4 months.  Either way, Toby and Aireen deserved a time alone.  Diana would love to see her family happy too.  So I let them.

I stared at this bare house and the whole empty rooms.  Diana liked to come over.  Usually to bake some cupcakes, or to play music with me.  Our music corner was still there in my living room.  Her unsealed letters were still under my pillows too.  I always re-read it every night.  This house, everything around me was all just nothing but about her.  Hey twinnie, it's been a week in the casket.  How's it going there?

"I've called Toby."  Aireen came back down.  "What do you cook?"

"Just some toast and here, for burgers.  They like it."  I forced a smile again.  Everything about happiness and smile will always being forced from now on.