This one life

Keep on lovin' you

And I'm gonna keep on lovin' you
'Cause it's the only thing I want to do
I don't want to sleep,
I just want to keep on lovin' you

"Keep on lovin' you", LEO Speedwagon

I did not think that the mere sight of her, standing next to the piano, would make me so nervous. She seems to have grasped the importance of this situation, because she has remained silent since I caught her with that horrible text.

I really just wanted to play her my adaption without much explanation, but now I feel the need to talk about it first; to explain once again why there is only a piano version with no words.

„Also ich hab ja schon gesagt, dass ich leider noch keinen Text habe..."

She only nods. If only she knew that the sheet she just read without my permission was one of the attempts to put words to the music she is about to hear. I take a deep breath and start. It's not a difficult piece of music; a simple, yet slightly melancholic melody, with some chords and a bit of embroidery in the bass section. The highlight is probably the bridge section: it is higher, and more desperate, almost like a cry, with some long notes.

It only takes me a few seconds to be in the song: my nervousness is gone, I close my eyes and feel the music, the message that I had in mind when writing down the melody – this longing in my heart, the feeling that floods my body when I think of Jasmin. The fact that she is standing right next to me now, only inches away, makes me feel the music even more, and I lose myself in the melancholic tune.

When the last note has faded away, I slowly open my eyes – the place n'est to me is empty. Irritated, I turn around on the piano stool to find her standing some distance away, wiping her eyes and slightly embarrassed. Has she been crying? I cannot tell, for she avoids looking at me, turns away from me and her hands are very busy hiding her expression from me; she wipes her eyes again, places the outstretched palms together in front of her lips as if in prayer, only to start scratching her neck and chin a second later. I can thus see that she is somehow touched, and the fact that this song has done a similar thing to her than to me touches my heart.

I slowly get up to join her in the middle of the room. When she sees my movement, she smiles weakly and finally looks at me. Her eyes are shining; there is gratitude and sorrow mixed in that beautiful grey, and before I can decide whether she has actually been crying, she quickly looks away again.

„Ich sollte jetzt wohl klatschen....", she murmurs, still smiling weakly.

„No need to", I say, and my voice sounds cracked. Our eyes meet again. She seems to have her feelings under control now, because she holds my gaze, and her smile broadens.

„Danke", she says. „Das hat mich tief gerührt, sogar ohne Worte. Vielen Dank...."

„Freut mich", is all that I can think of at the moment. I am standing next to the piano now, and to be honest, I don't really know what to do. My normal reflex would be to go give her a hug, but for obvious reasons, this would be wrong. I put my hands in my pockets, unsure of what to do with them, unsure of where to look next. Should I sit back down and play another song?