This one life

I don't wanna miss a thing

I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

"I don't wanna miss a thing", Aerosmith

We talk every day, and also share at least a dozen messages. Sometimes it feels as if there had never been an argument, as if we were still together and had never been otherwise.

On Sunday evening, she seems sober and earnest when I call her around eight. I will depart for Dublin tomorrow morning, so this is our last call before Christmas. Before I turn off my phone.

These past 3 days, I have considered about a million times to just tell her that I will switch the phone on every evening, or that we can schedule at least a phone call or two. But I know this would be wrong. I have the feeling I need this offline time. I am also very tempted to tell her about my plans for when I come back, about the conversations I had with Gertrud, but I would be spilling the whole surprise, so I keep my mouth shut, although I am dying to tell someone.

It is thus a very one-sided phone call that we are having. I try not to talk too much, because I am afraid I might spill the beans. Jasmin tells me about Fabi's latest mischief and about discussions of unwatered plants and the lack of underwear that have caused her parents to return home yesterday. It seems that they were meant to be at Jasmin's place for Christmas. But of course they didn't pack enough stuff that morning when they were basically bundled out of bed by Moni's phone call... or so Mr. Rothfuss has argued. Which means Jasmin now gets two days without parental care, allowing us to have a really private conversation tonight.

„Wenn du mich fragst, hat mein Papa einfach keine Lust, hier so lange ohne seinen Netflix Account rumzusitzen...", Jasmin now giggles.

I only grunt in response. I haven't talked to Jasmin's father since the encounter at the hospital, and although Gertrud has assured me a few times that 'Wolfgang' is really thrilled for Jasmin, I still have an uneasy feeling every time I think of him. Jasmin, too, has commented once that her father is just being his usual grumpy self as always and that I shouldn't take it personal that he doesn't want to talk to me. The facts are: he shows no interest in me, and I get the feeling that he doesn't like me much.

„Hat er mich mal erwähnt?", I therefore ask now, while Jasmin is taking a break to sip some water.

"Ääähhhm, nein? Aber darüber solltest du dir wirklich keine Sorgen machen..."

„Das tue ich nicht." It is the truth, I don't really worry, I am just a bit frustrated. Or maybe too eager to get along with everyone.

„Also kommen sie morgen Abend zurück?", I ask.

„Ja, genau... Deshalb soll ich dir schon mal frohe Weihnachten von meiner Mama wünschen... Denn bis dahin bist du ja..."

I sigh. There we are. Yes, I will be gone, offline, spending some time with my brother and his family.