This one life

Common ground

Common ground, find commmon ground
Keep on looking, til it's found
Got one chance, that's what they say
They're all wrong cos there are many ways

„Common ground", Rebecca Lavelle

I swallow hard. This is probably what we have both been waiting for this whole evening. The question of questions. Stupidly enough, I don't know how to answer it.

"What are your principles, exactly?", I therefore ask.

Because up to now, she has only told me that she'd be against having sex so early in a relationship. So how am I supposed to know what I'd be signing up for?!

„Ach, du warst nie in der Lage, mir genau zu sagen, was ich darf und was nicht, aber jetzt soll ich meine Prinzipien plötzlich im Detail erläutern?!"

She doesn't really seem angry, just amused and maybe slightly embarassed by my question. I grin at her and nod. I am tempted to say that I want those principles in writing as she did so many times before, but somehow I feel that another joke would be inappropriate. Her look is serious again while I am waiting for her to say something.

„Also über die Details habe ich mir noch keine Gedanken gemacht...", she reflects.

Her cheeks have turned crimson again, which probably means that she is thinking hard about those details.

"So this would be trial and error?", I therefore ask her in a tone that is a lot more defiant than I actually feel.

„Nein, natürlich nicht!", she protests.

„Ich bin nicht davon ausgegangen, dass das für dich überhaupt zur Debatte steht, also habe ich mit dem Gedanken noch keine Zeit verschwendet.... Aber wenn du es genau wissen möchtest...."

I actually do, although I am not sure that I can really give her approach a try.

„Ich denke, wir müssten die Regeln gemeinsam finden. Ich kann dir nur sagen, wo ich bei mir momentan die Grenze ziehe, aber nicht, wo deine Grenze ist. Das heißt, eigentlich weiß ich ja..." she rolls her eyes.

„Und wo ist deine Grenze?", I ask quickly before she can go into the details of my limits again.

She blushes only the slightest bit while she talks.

„Ich denke, es gibt ein paar Tabuzonen... die ich gerne genauer erläutere, aber ich denke, du weißt welche ich meine...", she points at her chest, bottom and crotch, „...Dort sind die Hände tabu, genauso wie,... also ich fände es zwar... hmmm, also... für den Moment bin ich dafür, dass wir die Finger über den Klamotten lassen!"

I can feel my own cheeks turning scarlet at the intensity of this topic and find myself thinking of yesterday evening, on the very same couch, when my fingers were definitely underneath her dress... In a non-critical area, yes. But still.