Untai Aksara Tentang Kita

Tired

I'm tired,
can't it just stop for a sec?

It's tiring,
to speak when I can't even think,
to smile when I can't even feel,
and to socialize when I just wanna cut myself.

I'm tired,
but if only you were here for a sec,
could you just hold me tight,
brought me to wherever you are and never came back?

'Cause honestly,
I'm so done with all of these.

I'm tired of taking responsibilities,
from the other's expectations,
that can never even hear me,
when she should be my home, ironically.

I'm tired of smiling,
when I instantly know I can't ever believe,
when I know every dark side of all of these,
yet I still yell at myself, "Just look at the bright side, B*tch!"

I'm tired of socializing,
understanding the other's every dark side,
when I can't even show mine,
'cause they'll get scared, disgusted, and mad at the same time.

I'm tired of hurting myself,
just to make sure that I'm still alive,
that I can still feel that kinda pain,
and that this f*cking sh*t can never really kill me anyway,
even if I begged.

So, Babe,
can't you come for a sec,
just saying those idiot sentences,
or challenge me to eat ice creams as many as I can?

'Cause I can confess,
for a million times,
now that you've been gone for 3 years,
that I need you so f*cking bad to just breathe again!

I need you here,
to simply just tell honestly,
that I'm f*cking tired of everything.

I'm tired of socializing,
I'm tired of being her freaking doll,
I'm tired of living,
And I'm tired of hoping you were still alive.

So, please,
can you be here?

'Cause I'm tired,
and I'm done,
But I can't just f*cking pass.

'Cause I need you,
so f*cking need you,
yes, Babe, I really do.

August 12, 2019